V Festival 2011

As things currently stand

Eminem
'Special Guest'(what? everyone's saying Rihanna but no confirmation. ooh, REM please)
Arctic Monkeys
Plan B
The Script
Dizzee Rascal
Pendulum
Kaiser Chiefs
Duran Duran(ha.)
Manic Street Preachers
Primal Scream
Razorlight
Chase and Status
Tinie Tempah
Courteeners
Scouting for Girls
Ellie Goulding
Bruno Mars
Jessie J
the Wombats
Mark Ronson
N-Dubz
Big Audio Dynamite
Glasvegas
Hurts
Katie B
KT Tunstell
Squeeze
the Saturdays
Example
Wiz Khalifa
Olly Murs
Cast
Kele
Ocean Colour Scene
You Me At Six
Eliza Doolittle
Fun Lovin' Criminals
Imelda May
Bellowhead
Claire Maguire

After six months of waiting, rumors, eFestivals updates, and festival forums, today marked the day that the beginning of the V lineup was announced.

I don't care what you say. I like it. But first a few things have to be said.

V posted their lineup a few hours ago, along with an accompanying video, and ever since then the Internet, in particular the most pompous of music blogs, have been awash with ridicule. Most of it boiling down to little more than 'it's shit. READING AND LEEDS FUCK YES'.

Okay, we need a talk, so-called V-ers. This is a big festival. These are big acts, whether you like them or not. Getting these tickets is no walk in the park. In fact, plenty of people miss out on these every year. V has always been a mainstream festival, y'know? It's light-weight, fun, free from the abundant music snobbery that litters the other festivals. it's august, it's summer, you're with friends, the vast majority of people are drunk out of their minds. It's about rain and wellies and having beer in your hair and looking disgusting for two days on end. It is not, nor should it be, about walking around announcing how you'd rather be watching Cancer Bats at Reading a week later. No! Jesus.

I mean, I will concede, R&L have been almost unfathomably lucky with their last few lineups. and this one looks to be going in the same direction. I would kill to go to Reading(Elbow? Muse? Pulp? My god, yes), but it's just not viable for me right now, and to say V is awful in comparison isn't fair. And, oh my God, have you seen Glasto's rumors? Genuinely, not very appealing to me. Glasto's just strength in numbers--most festivals with 45 stages can probably pull something half-decent together, you know?

All of the big festivals are good in their own right, though some of the others are just a tad overwhelming. you know, if you wanna take magic mushrooms while watching Crystal Castles before going off to get a back massage at whatever mad tent these places are throwing together, then that's fine. Sounds almost appealing. But please, just because you're doing that, doesn't make V's totally adequate lineup sucky. it isn't! It's fun, it's well put together, it's entertaining. Go ahead and be snippy about these bands now--it's February, all we wanna do is listen to PJ Harvey and drink hot chocolate and be overly critical about Claire Maguire, yeah, I'm there, I know that. But you know when the shorts and the bleach blonde hair and the Summer Choons come out, you don't care whatever the hell you're listening to. God knows I listened to so much crap last summer. It's just all about being entertained and not caring. that's the whole point of summer...the whole point of music festivals. if you don't like it, then okay, sell your ticket. It's not that hard. Leave us be!

So now that that failure of an almost rant is done, let's discuss my opinions on these yes? In an incredibly, incredibly long winded fashion, because you know that's just me.

So, Eminem. I'm not a huge fan but I know a few things and I agree he's hugely talented. I think this is genuinely an interesting choice for V. T in the Park had him last year and he seemed to go down alright, if not more than that. I must buy a record. My only slight issue is the almost anti-climax that this will be. He doesn't have the flashy lights and the guitars and the screaming you expect from a headliner. Nevertheless, Love the Way You Lie I'm sure will be awesome in the dark. Depending on who the 2nd stage headliner is, I might jump in between. who knows.

Arctic Monkeys will be, to put it lightly, phenomenal. I love the Arctic Monkeys, genuinely think they're amazing, and they are quite something live. I've seen them once before--in an small-average club, in December of 09. absolute. bedlam. I got fully knocked to the ground at least three times(as you can imagine, my memory of that night is rather vague...). However, this, compared to a field of tens of thousands of super fans, will be nothing. It'll be honest to God, on Prodigy level(best. night. of. my life.). I'm hugely excited for Saturday night, one for my personal history books. as long as my hair is soaked with beer, my brain is buzzing with fake northern accents, and I spend more time on my hands and knees than standing up, I will be a very happy girl.

I like Plan B but my slight concern is him not being able to fill a 2nd-to-headlining spot, or my paying attention for an hour straight. but no matter, I've made it through a fucking Stereophonics 2nd-to-headlining set, so this is no problem.

If I see the Script again, I'll have seen them four times. that's sad. I don't know why I even wanna see them again? Still, the Man Who Can't be Moved is quite nice live, that's something.

I'm not saying Pendulum are technically great or anything, but their live shows are absolutely immense. Again, Prodigy-level goodness. Like, I wouldn't go out of my way to see them but if I was there, then hell yes I would. That'd be amazing.

OKAY OKAY OKAY. Two years ago, I remember blogging about V '09's lineup and I definitely, definitely finished with 'still hoping for Kaiser Chiefs'. Now, 24 months on and after, yes, growing out of KC a bit, my wish has finally come true. Dear 11 year old self; I'm seeing kaiser Chiefs and there's nothing that can stop me. IN. YOUR. FACE. All I can think about, sitting here, is an evening time slot, in amongst the packed crowd, shouting the lyrics to Ruby until I loose my voice. It's my pre-pubescent dream. And I will be living it. I will be living it. There is not a single being on this planet that can stop me--I will even sacrifice Alex Turner's awesomeness live for this. This. Is. Incredible.

Lawl, Duran Duran. It's really sad that I actually want to see this with absolutely no shred of irony attached. But I will. Hungry like the Wolf late afternoon...yes, please.

I've seen Razorlight once already. I don't hate them. America is a nice one live, can really sing a long. yeah, I'd do that.

Shame I missed the Courteeners last year, they'd be another good one. Pfft, I'm so gonna get my indie fix this year. what on earth are people talking about?

I pride myself on knowing Ellie Goulding ever since she first appeared in the NME. And yet I've never seen her. Hmm, that'd be alright.

I'd see Jessie J just for Do it Like A Dude. I love Do it Like A Dude.

THE WOMBATS. OH MY GOD, LOVE IT. The Wombats are freakin' amazing and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. my friend's seen them twice and was absolutely blown away. I remember being addicted to Let's Dance to Joy Division. oddly, I still adore that song with all my being. Despite all the floppy hair and cutesy guitars, this band have the unusual ability of throwing together a moshpit every show. not even kidding. sounds fun.

Mark Ronson, hmmm? I dunno about talent, but fun, maybe. vintage suits and pretentiousness, too.

Okay, you hear this, cynics? Glas. Vegas. 'Not enough bands', 'not enough indie', what the hell do you call this? Seriously, they're Scottish, wear sunglasses in daylight, and play guitars, what more do you want? sounds like a whale of a time. Oh yeah a lot of people just wanna hear Mumford for ten hours straight. no. thank. you.

Hurts are cool, yeah, they're cool, I'm there.

Kele would be nice too. and ocean colour scene! Elize Doolittle would be nice again, on a bigger stage perhaps, and when it's not pouring rain.

Needless to say my mom's gonna be all over the oldies(they're good oldies this year, though!) and my dad's gonna be down at the indie stage. They've added a comedy stage this year. I'm hoping...Tim Minchin? Bill Bailey? Simon Amstell? Bo Burnahm, on an off chance? sounds like a blast.

Dear internet; V is awesome. I don't understand you at all sometimes.

At long last, that is all.