february vacation

here's how the last week has gone down: gave my self another migrane (read: a day off school), listened to Crystal Castles, watched all of The Thick Of It Again, watched my Don't Be So Stressed plan shatter, and felt completely overjoyed with the start of february vacation.

things are getting better at school, definitely, albeit at rather too slow a pace. ups and downs, you know. The was a marked different, a good one, between the beginning and the end of the week. The day off was the best. I don't know that I necesserily deserved it, at least physically (?), but it was good. I also missed gym that day!

This week in short(ish): gym getting better. Still have an irrational disdain for exercise machines, in principle and practice. I look hopeless with the machines because evryone knows I feel out of place. I'm willing to risk severe next-day muscle pains in order to complete the required machine work in the quickest and most halpfhaard way possible. Then you can go into the cardio (exercise terminology, yuck) room, where Big Brother doesn't watch you and if you're me you can annoy everyone by sitting on a bike and looking into the distance for the next half hour. the problem is the interim between the two stages. cause the exercise bikes are the only machines I wanna use in the cardio roon, see. You have these weird and unecesserily complicated machines that involve you slowlyl moving your feet uyp and down I can't even begin to explain and automatically make people using them look silly, the 'elipticals' that rud you of some autonomy because yo're upposed to use your arms and legs, treadmills I loathe because they're the most obvious and energy consuming of the bunch, rowing machines are ridiculous, and they have this thing that makes you like eight feet off the ground and it's like an escalator and everytime I've seen someone use it they've almost flown off. Death by Obscure Exercise Machine is not desirable. so, exercise bikes, except their are only four of them? I looked confused beyond confused and aloof beyond aloof in the twenty minutes I wandered aimlessly between the two rooms waiting for one of the fucking bikes to open up. hmmm. yes. gym gym gym. also my teacher tries to be all friendly with everyone, far too much so. an irritating type of teacher, certainly. just leave me alone.

I was in a chemistry lab and the girls I was with spent the entire time talking about how their mothers ae encouraging them to go tanning in preperation for prom. Sigh, juniors. also we weighed pennies. I do not understand.

I dunno when I became a bad mathematician, but apparently I did. it's sad cause...I mean...algebra isn't the most uninteresting thing in the world? It can be fun sometimes? it's cool cause sometimes it's mindless repetition, sometimes it requires genuine (low-level) initiative and stuff. I dunno. Math, guys. pretty sure I did horribly in a test this week. C-range. Found out this is the first time my teacher has taught this class, so figures. I will be leninet with her. We've had a whole couple of classes just doing review and it's been really relaxed and fun. During the test someone started singing Jar of Hearts, starting off humming and building until belting. It was remarkably well done.

Another failed Spanish quiz, first speaking quiz too, listening to more bad Spanish pop songs, more forced talking ('mingling'), and so on. We had to make cartoons this week. i guess it was fun because it was low-key and ended the week. i guess.

I suppose I will make myself less stressed...at some point. I really do think it's important to see that happen. I'm just really tired and fighting sickness all the time and having existential crises during chemistry labs. I dunno.

february vacation could not be more timely. I guess i have a specific list of things I wanna do this week and i guess I'll achieve none of them. I wanna read and listen to music and watch movies and sleep and stuff. I'll never do all of that as much as I'd want. Also we're going to New York next weekend! We're seeing Richard III and I suppose doing some generic tourist-y stuff. I'm excited to compare winter New York to summetr New York. And road trips are genuinely one of my favorite things in the world. There's just something about them. I'm so excited.

An interesting thing is there's no snow on the ground for the first february I've been here and I want it to stay that way. I don't like winter much. Also it's weird to think I went through this huge Peter Doherty phase like this time two years ago. Doesn't seem like that long ago. This is the first february since I've lived here that I haven't associated with either Peter Doherty or being miserable. hmmm.
I started reading Slaughterhouse Five this week. I like it so far. This is my introduction to Vonnegut. God I feel so behind, at seems like everyone loves Vonnegut. It's really interesting. And I'm talking like...it parallels obsessions with One Direction and the Hunger Games and stuff. The fandom itself is impressive enough. Dammit I never read anything I'm so goddamn illiterate, I just wanna spend the entire week reading reading reading. Also watching the Thick Of It because it truly is the best show out there right now. Every line is clever, i think. I can't wait till it returns.

Msusic: Laura Marling (the most recent album is glorious and she is brilliant). The Flaming Lips still. Finally listened to Girls and they're basically the epitome of 2011 Surf Pop but some of their stuff is kinda interesting. I don't always get surf pop and it seems like everyone else does. M.I.A. is wonderful and I don't care what anyone else thinks. Pink Floyd, surprisingly, I will listen to Dark Side of the Moon this week. Smashing Pumpkins, just Mellon Chollie and Siamese Dream though. 9those two are more than enough). Janis Ian is interesting. Yuck, who sound like bad Dinosaur Jr. but oh how I love them.  and Crystal Castles! Wow I looooove Crystal Castles. you should totally get their debut because it's extremely good. Best electronica band out there right now, by far. I don't suppose that's saying much, judging by their competition. But believe me, they're good.

Right that's it for now I'm sorry I'm so boring but the blogging oppurtunity was there and I seized it. I'm off now.

second semester and whatever

Hello all.



I've returned! As best I can. It's a week into the new semester and things are very mixed. I don't know how to write tonight. Be warned: incoherence is coming tonight. Yeah.



So, I had a headache today and got to stay off from school. I'm very tired I guess, and I got to sleep for twelve hours, so this is good. the headache got better through the day, too! I had a very good day. I watched classic Simpsons. It's a shame that everyone's forgotten that classic Simpsons was amazing. The Simpsons was...essentially the only thing I wanted to watch for the first ten years of my life. It's fun going back and actually understanding why it's so good though. It's really really funny and sometimes clever and certainly unique? Let the Simpsons end and let it be cool to like again. Like 90% of the Simpsons stuff I have is on VHS though so I really need to go and buy more. One weird thing that happened was watching the episode where they go to Lollapalooza (well, 'Hullabalooza'), and Homer ends up hanging out with the Smashing Pumpkins or whatever, I've spent my entire life thinking that was Sonic Youth. Like, woah. They're in the episode too so I guess I was just confused. Okay, so, I also read more of the Fault In Our Stars by John Green which is taking forever to read because I just can't be bothered to read at the moment? I dunno, my interest ebbs and flows I guess, it'll come back. And I'm reading Nabokov at the moment so it's not like it's the reading material that's the issue. TFiOS is the bet John Green Book but it's still not good. Fucking oblivion. I just don't care anymore.

Work is definitely easier this semester. I only have three classes, which explains it.



I'm in the exercise room for the first time in gym. My only experience like this before is the similar unit you have to do in middle school, which I spent largely sitting down, drawing, or lapping. This time they have these machines they track everything you do. I've taken to attacking it with a sort of big-brother-is-watching-ah-i'm-trapped-this-is-scary vigor that only someone as vehemently opposed to exercise as I could undertake. I took this gym to avoid the physical activity gym which has, like, matball and stuff. which is reasonable, y'know? And now I am being watched. On Thursday we were forced to fuck around with locker combinations and stuff, which created a number of problems. by the time I'd gotten my locker and worked out my stuff didn't fit in it, the class had already left for the exercise room. I have a terrible sense of direction sometimes so this was a problem. by the time I'd got there the teacher (who is very nice although brings like an XL Dunkin Donuts drink to class every day? oh by the way our class is at 7:45 in the morning) explained all the various machines and stuff, and I dunno, everything from tread mills to photocopy machines to microscopes, I really don't like dealing with machine-y stuff in school and I can't really explain why. Also something about exercise machines annoys me, I guess, which is something I can't explain either. And I didn’t really pay attention and then we had to set up our personal info and stuff for all the machines which I decided not to do, and it turns out the machines track this, too. So awkward moment explaining to my teacher that I just didn’t get how to set up any of the machines. Nope, not one of them. Why didn’t I ever think to ask for help? Oh...I don’t know either. Yeah. I annoyed two people yesterday who had to help me, now the class airhead, work out all the machines. Being seen as dumb is better than being seen as difficult, tactically speaking.

Chem. My teacher interests include Eminem, high school basketball, and cats. She refers to puppies as her boyfriends. There are about six or seven other sophomores in the class, and then there’s...the  h-so-terrifying juniors, Nevertheless, it hasn’t been bad. I was dreading a lab yesterday. A few reasons: one incredibly petty one is that we have to put our hair up and I don’t put my hair up, like ever, and I know someone in that class who thinks any deviation your normal way of doing things is worth mentioning again and again and again, however uncomfortable it makes you. Two, I don’t really like labs, I don’t see the point and stuff like that always seems to confuse me, and for gods sake it’s a baking soda and vinegar lab I mean really. Thirdly, I didn’t have to be a partner so I had to be with a junior (so scary I know). And I know they’re a year older than me so I wasn’t expecting any difference between them and us, but I do think they’re more laid back about stuff than (on average) the some sophomores are. I dunno. The girl I worked with on the lab would’ve been annoying had I been working with who she was a year ago, I suspect. I sound so dumb.

Algebra’s fine boderline boring.

My spanish teacher’s developed this, uh, psychotic streak in the year since I’ve talked to her. Psycho organization, too much work, making us listen to terrible Spanish pop songs. We have new textbooks that we aren’t allowed to take home. Every class that block is full, apparently, so no switching out for us. And I did so badly on a quiz yesterday, though she never explained anything so who am I to care. It’s a conscious decision to be more relaxed this semester. I think if I reconnected (ugh, ignore the word choice) with stuff I like this semester (books & music, really that’s it) and was just more laid back about stuff I can get through it. Get through machines that track everything I do, a chemistry class that I don’t particularly wanna be in, an algebra class that makes me fall asleep, a spanish teacher who looks down on me for not color-coding everything I own or some nonsense of that ilk. I don’t  like this semester so far but damnit I’m gonna make myself happier than I was last semester if it kills me, damnit.

I, uh, I watched Amadeus for the second time this weekend. I dunno if I’ve mentioned before that I watched this recently and loved it. Tis very good. Also still into Black Books and the Thick of It. I never change. Reaaaally wanna watch Sherlock soon, too. I wanna see Tinker Tailor again because I liked it so much but doubt I’ll get the chance.

Oh! Music. Right, music. I’ve been in a rut for some weeks now which I’m finally breaking out of, with a little effort on my part. It always happens this time of year, though I’ve no idea why. I bought a Sonic Youth CD this weekend. Not one I particularly wanted, but even so. It’s quite good. Also listening to my mom’s Elvis Costello CDs a lot. I’m finally ‘getting’ Elvis Costello. I dunno which of the many of his records is the one I keep listening, but it has a very interesting sound about it. It’s definitely old-fashioned. Some of it’s kinda countryish, some of it could’ve been written in the 60s, or, even 50s, it’s very very interesting. My mom’s a huge Elvis Costello fan, so yeah. I have a Crystal Castles CD arriving soon. Man, I love Crystal Castles. I just love their remixes and everything. My favorite song at the moment is by the Dollyrots. Called ‘My Best Friend’s Hot”. It’s a lot of fun, if nothing else. Also, Cymbals Eat Guitars are a surprisingly good band. You find a grunge sound in there somewhere if you look hard enough. And I have a thing for the Smith Westerns at the moment. I...feel like I almost willed myself to liking the Smith Westerns. Their most well known song, Weekend, I first heard ages ago and didn’t understand it at all. Nevertheless, I understood them eventually. Listen to Boys Are Fine.

I’m in a phase though, guys, and there’s nothing like being in a music phase. It’s not that interesting, I guess: The Flaming Lips. Such a sophomore band, I think. I could be wrong. I mean, I’ve known about the Flaming Lips for forever, but other than a few songs we never really clicked properly. Giving them a second ago last week was so worth it, though! Listen to anything from At Ware With The Mystics. I dunno. When you have this amazing band and they’ve been super prolific for like thirty years it’s kinda difficult to get into them properly? Like, where do you begin? That’s the issue. I reaaaally want their Dark Side of the Moon cover album though (they covered they entire thing!) though that probably requires me listening to the original Dark Side of the Moon? And yeah it’s pretty embarrassing I haven’t done that yet? And we have the record round here too, I think it might be on vinyl but I’m not sure, so why has this happened. Rambles. Also, about the Flaming Lips, it’s undeniable how lovely the whole weird-for-the-sake-of-weird thing is. Like, actually kinda odd, not in the torn up jeans and messy hair and dissonance way that seems to be weirdness in pop music. (that and manic female singer songwriters coughflorencewelchcough. Coughyouretryingtoohardyoureruiningthefacthttayougenuinelywritereallygoodmusiccough). (Not to be a hypocrite, did I mention I’m seeing Florence in May, though? With a friend, too.) (Damn parentheses). Right, Flaming Lips. They’re weird in a spacey, pink wellingtons, songs about pink robots and sandwiches and impersonating animals weird. It’s so endearing, guys. And clichéd too but it’s better not to question any of it, I suppose. Full enjoyment requires sleep deprivation and an ironic teenage dorkiness that only a more recent me can understand.

That’s about it, guys. I’ve nothing to do and I’m going to bed.