second semester and whatever

Hello all.



I've returned! As best I can. It's a week into the new semester and things are very mixed. I don't know how to write tonight. Be warned: incoherence is coming tonight. Yeah.



So, I had a headache today and got to stay off from school. I'm very tired I guess, and I got to sleep for twelve hours, so this is good. the headache got better through the day, too! I had a very good day. I watched classic Simpsons. It's a shame that everyone's forgotten that classic Simpsons was amazing. The Simpsons was...essentially the only thing I wanted to watch for the first ten years of my life. It's fun going back and actually understanding why it's so good though. It's really really funny and sometimes clever and certainly unique? Let the Simpsons end and let it be cool to like again. Like 90% of the Simpsons stuff I have is on VHS though so I really need to go and buy more. One weird thing that happened was watching the episode where they go to Lollapalooza (well, 'Hullabalooza'), and Homer ends up hanging out with the Smashing Pumpkins or whatever, I've spent my entire life thinking that was Sonic Youth. Like, woah. They're in the episode too so I guess I was just confused. Okay, so, I also read more of the Fault In Our Stars by John Green which is taking forever to read because I just can't be bothered to read at the moment? I dunno, my interest ebbs and flows I guess, it'll come back. And I'm reading Nabokov at the moment so it's not like it's the reading material that's the issue. TFiOS is the bet John Green Book but it's still not good. Fucking oblivion. I just don't care anymore.

Work is definitely easier this semester. I only have three classes, which explains it.



I'm in the exercise room for the first time in gym. My only experience like this before is the similar unit you have to do in middle school, which I spent largely sitting down, drawing, or lapping. This time they have these machines they track everything you do. I've taken to attacking it with a sort of big-brother-is-watching-ah-i'm-trapped-this-is-scary vigor that only someone as vehemently opposed to exercise as I could undertake. I took this gym to avoid the physical activity gym which has, like, matball and stuff. which is reasonable, y'know? And now I am being watched. On Thursday we were forced to fuck around with locker combinations and stuff, which created a number of problems. by the time I'd gotten my locker and worked out my stuff didn't fit in it, the class had already left for the exercise room. I have a terrible sense of direction sometimes so this was a problem. by the time I'd got there the teacher (who is very nice although brings like an XL Dunkin Donuts drink to class every day? oh by the way our class is at 7:45 in the morning) explained all the various machines and stuff, and I dunno, everything from tread mills to photocopy machines to microscopes, I really don't like dealing with machine-y stuff in school and I can't really explain why. Also something about exercise machines annoys me, I guess, which is something I can't explain either. And I didn’t really pay attention and then we had to set up our personal info and stuff for all the machines which I decided not to do, and it turns out the machines track this, too. So awkward moment explaining to my teacher that I just didn’t get how to set up any of the machines. Nope, not one of them. Why didn’t I ever think to ask for help? Oh...I don’t know either. Yeah. I annoyed two people yesterday who had to help me, now the class airhead, work out all the machines. Being seen as dumb is better than being seen as difficult, tactically speaking.

Chem. My teacher interests include Eminem, high school basketball, and cats. She refers to puppies as her boyfriends. There are about six or seven other sophomores in the class, and then there’s...the  h-so-terrifying juniors, Nevertheless, it hasn’t been bad. I was dreading a lab yesterday. A few reasons: one incredibly petty one is that we have to put our hair up and I don’t put my hair up, like ever, and I know someone in that class who thinks any deviation your normal way of doing things is worth mentioning again and again and again, however uncomfortable it makes you. Two, I don’t really like labs, I don’t see the point and stuff like that always seems to confuse me, and for gods sake it’s a baking soda and vinegar lab I mean really. Thirdly, I didn’t have to be a partner so I had to be with a junior (so scary I know). And I know they’re a year older than me so I wasn’t expecting any difference between them and us, but I do think they’re more laid back about stuff than (on average) the some sophomores are. I dunno. The girl I worked with on the lab would’ve been annoying had I been working with who she was a year ago, I suspect. I sound so dumb.

Algebra’s fine boderline boring.

My spanish teacher’s developed this, uh, psychotic streak in the year since I’ve talked to her. Psycho organization, too much work, making us listen to terrible Spanish pop songs. We have new textbooks that we aren’t allowed to take home. Every class that block is full, apparently, so no switching out for us. And I did so badly on a quiz yesterday, though she never explained anything so who am I to care. It’s a conscious decision to be more relaxed this semester. I think if I reconnected (ugh, ignore the word choice) with stuff I like this semester (books & music, really that’s it) and was just more laid back about stuff I can get through it. Get through machines that track everything I do, a chemistry class that I don’t particularly wanna be in, an algebra class that makes me fall asleep, a spanish teacher who looks down on me for not color-coding everything I own or some nonsense of that ilk. I don’t  like this semester so far but damnit I’m gonna make myself happier than I was last semester if it kills me, damnit.

I, uh, I watched Amadeus for the second time this weekend. I dunno if I’ve mentioned before that I watched this recently and loved it. Tis very good. Also still into Black Books and the Thick of It. I never change. Reaaaally wanna watch Sherlock soon, too. I wanna see Tinker Tailor again because I liked it so much but doubt I’ll get the chance.

Oh! Music. Right, music. I’ve been in a rut for some weeks now which I’m finally breaking out of, with a little effort on my part. It always happens this time of year, though I’ve no idea why. I bought a Sonic Youth CD this weekend. Not one I particularly wanted, but even so. It’s quite good. Also listening to my mom’s Elvis Costello CDs a lot. I’m finally ‘getting’ Elvis Costello. I dunno which of the many of his records is the one I keep listening, but it has a very interesting sound about it. It’s definitely old-fashioned. Some of it’s kinda countryish, some of it could’ve been written in the 60s, or, even 50s, it’s very very interesting. My mom’s a huge Elvis Costello fan, so yeah. I have a Crystal Castles CD arriving soon. Man, I love Crystal Castles. I just love their remixes and everything. My favorite song at the moment is by the Dollyrots. Called ‘My Best Friend’s Hot”. It’s a lot of fun, if nothing else. Also, Cymbals Eat Guitars are a surprisingly good band. You find a grunge sound in there somewhere if you look hard enough. And I have a thing for the Smith Westerns at the moment. I...feel like I almost willed myself to liking the Smith Westerns. Their most well known song, Weekend, I first heard ages ago and didn’t understand it at all. Nevertheless, I understood them eventually. Listen to Boys Are Fine.

I’m in a phase though, guys, and there’s nothing like being in a music phase. It’s not that interesting, I guess: The Flaming Lips. Such a sophomore band, I think. I could be wrong. I mean, I’ve known about the Flaming Lips for forever, but other than a few songs we never really clicked properly. Giving them a second ago last week was so worth it, though! Listen to anything from At Ware With The Mystics. I dunno. When you have this amazing band and they’ve been super prolific for like thirty years it’s kinda difficult to get into them properly? Like, where do you begin? That’s the issue. I reaaaally want their Dark Side of the Moon cover album though (they covered they entire thing!) though that probably requires me listening to the original Dark Side of the Moon? And yeah it’s pretty embarrassing I haven’t done that yet? And we have the record round here too, I think it might be on vinyl but I’m not sure, so why has this happened. Rambles. Also, about the Flaming Lips, it’s undeniable how lovely the whole weird-for-the-sake-of-weird thing is. Like, actually kinda odd, not in the torn up jeans and messy hair and dissonance way that seems to be weirdness in pop music. (that and manic female singer songwriters coughflorencewelchcough. Coughyouretryingtoohardyoureruiningthefacthttayougenuinelywritereallygoodmusiccough). (Not to be a hypocrite, did I mention I’m seeing Florence in May, though? With a friend, too.) (Damn parentheses). Right, Flaming Lips. They’re weird in a spacey, pink wellingtons, songs about pink robots and sandwiches and impersonating animals weird. It’s so endearing, guys. And clichéd too but it’s better not to question any of it, I suppose. Full enjoyment requires sleep deprivation and an ironic teenage dorkiness that only a more recent me can understand.

That’s about it, guys. I’ve nothing to do and I’m going to bed.