And it doesn't really feel like autumn! Well, kind of. It just started now. More specifically, it feels Halloween-like. Man, I love Halloween. Today I was reading an article about like teenage girls getting exorcisms, specifically how the popularity of the concept reflects society’s misogynistic distrust of women’s losses of innocence, at which point eyebrows were raised. All the same, I love typical spooky things. Except Ouija boards. God, to the person at the party who surreptitiously moves the Ouija board and then screams a second later—I don’t like you.
Apart from that, October can usually be summarized neatly in me moping around waiting for NaNoWriMo inspiration to strike (it rarely does). I reckon things are going better than last year, where most of my thoughts came from looking out of windows at lunch, listening to the Antlers, and reading this god awful Mark Z Danielewski book that for some reason I was really into at the time. I could be all oh-ugh-I-was-so-stupid-last-year, but I don’t think I’m much better this year. Any ideas I have come from melodramatic guitar music, tumblr photos, and wanting to spend most of my time being a moody fuck hanging around at the Jack Kerouac memorial in Lowell. Oh what it is to be a teenage writer.
For lack of a better way of moving on from this, here’s a song by Sonic Youth.
I only know this and Kool Thing by them. I haven’t listened to anything by them at all in three or four years, and they sound way more impressive to me now. I just don’t really know where to start with them, they have so many albums. Should go out and buy something when I have the chance. I don't know how to spend my free time, though. Last weekend was a long weekend, and though I went apple picking and stuff, I wasted all of Monday and then went for a walk.
Nothing out of the ordinary this school week. I’ve been unreasonably tired, though i suspect I’m just catching up from last week where I got five hours of sleep a night and worked relentlessly between these times. Today should’ve been an easier week, few big tests and a day off on Monday and all. Didn’t quite work out that way. Turns out already reading Gatsby just means that I’m just incredibly bored during class. I’ve had John Green run through a lot of this anyway, and much faster. Still, it’s a good chance to reread a book I like a lot. From one spectrum to another, all we do in that class is listen to lectures—gone are the days of spending a whole period coloring pictures to represent metaphors. Now it just goes on and on and on about not a whole lot. We’re writing a bit, though, so I can’t really complain.
Had my first big disappointing grade in algebra this week. I’m still doing okay, though, so no matter. They were silly mistakes. I don’t actually mind silly mistakes, as it means I know that I really do still have a grip on things. Lately we get to color graphs! Back in 8th grade, where we officially did algebra for the first time (though I’d done some before—my parents were more pushy in 5th grade), the notion of doing sophomore algebra would’ve paralyzed me with fear. I think 8th grade me would been very confused by the way things have been panning out so far. I think generally more people should just tell 8th grade me to calm down about things.
Though my 20th century teacher’s been going on about it since day two of school, we’ve finally been assigned out first research paper. The topics looked tedious, but I’m doing something about foreign policy now that I don’t really have any solid opinions on yet. He gave us a bunch of time to research, though, and plan. In its current state, my plan’s elaborate but hopelessly messy. The first draft’s due Wednesday, so I reckon it’s gonna be one of those weekends. Usually I relish that chance to waste a whole period doing online research for essays, but we’ve been given strict guidelines for where we can look and god I’m sick to death of all things scholarly at the moment. I’m sort of obliged to semi-interact with these two girls, one I like, the other spends most of her time scanning dense books about communism and vocalizing most of the discoveries she makes. I’ve done very, very little so far. It’s pathetic. And daunting. Definitely daunting, yeah. Everyone’s further ahead. No matter, I suppose—sleep loss on a Saturday never stopped me before. And now we’re just talking about war, and opinions on this I‘m afraid can make or break my feelings of the class and my classmates for me. We’ve only done brief summaries so far, and in that the D day summary bothered me, but the IRA-England thing was handled with very little bias so I was impressed. Still, I don’t wanna talk about war.
Because writing a seven page essay can never exist without any other added layers of chaos, I’ve been assigned another bio project this week. Also, had to do another la. We’re led by this girl who, after seeing me create a model for a protein with its 280 amino acids placed in order, now thinks I’m incredibly Smart and Academic and Into Science. While I did find a weird sort of enjoyment in doing the amino acid chain, it’s indicative of me not knowing how to use my time properly rather than anything actually, you know, good. I was her prime consultant when it came to testing bacteria colony counts. Interestingly, our results on the procedure were exactly the opposite of what we would have expected to happen. Also, not to endlessly go on about this girl, cause I didn’t really dislike her or anything, but she doesn’t try to disguise her sucking up to our teacher, so our group is always talking to the teacher and staying in class after the bell rings and what have you. I don’t think my teacher is fooled, though I have had a very bad record of trying to get and stay on the good side of teacher, so I don’t suppose I’d know.
Now I’ve three days to come to cohesive opinion on foreign policy, so that’s it fo
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