this song is like an 80s movie

guys

this song

it's like every 80s teen movie thrown in a blender and made into a song. excuse me for thinking it's brilliant. and for writing like this is tumblr.

so, uh, school. my life. what's been happening. I can't really summarize the whole thing in a cohesive manner.

We're reading Hemingway in English which is...kind of okay. It's war stories. I have no taste in books! Let's embrace it! I spent the first week of school lost in On The Road and everything's seemed so dull since. Everything about me is an affection, eh? Again, let's skip round this point and pretend I've got anything to say. it takes a lot to interest me in a war story, and not even Hemingway has that power, generally. I wanna read his other stuff, though, cause it just seems like the sort of thing you should read, you know? However, I'm kind of okay with all of that nonsense because the class is a literary wasteland as it is. the inane teaching style continues! We're forced to write poetry about these stories. Forced to write poetry. This is something that should never, ever happen. Like, ever. Nothing good ever comes out of forced group poetry-writing sessions, and the teacher knows it. However, she does seem irritatingly willing to display this train wreck AB-rhyme scheme poetry all across the room. other than covering up the walls, which are a shade of blue reminiscent of bad bathroom design, I don't see where she's coming from on this. Oh, we draw pictures too. Despite my teacher's hope that she can suck some creativity out of before the school's collective 9:30 caffeine buzz sets in, the result is usually forty five-minute long discussions about anything else. When we get to chose our own groups, the results are usually good; I end up with two girls I sort of know and am sort of ambivalent about, and most of their discussions revolve about how 'Asian' their families are, and I nod and smile at that. And I can usually read and whatever at these times. When we don't get to choose our groups, the result is a highly tedious class filled with occasional awkward almost-conversations with people I don't know. The people around me get to class early, and are a curiously comical bunch, in a really contrived way. Think Friends. Yeah. At least, that's how they see themselves. Sigh. Luckily, we're reading Gatsby soon(finallyfinallyfinally though it's only been like three weeks) which might just be the pinnacle of my year.

Algebra is usually filled with sly, sarcastic comments on the part of everyone around me, but the teacher gives us breaks and I can read. My parents, after open house, dew scribed my teacher as 'extremely weird'. My teacher has mistakenly given me a 100.0 average in that class.

and the pseudo-politicized debates rage on in 20th century history. The focus seems more to be on current affairs than the actual 20th century. For all I hear(and ignore) politics at school and what have you, it seems very few people actually walk the walk about this stuff. the whole class tests the limits of my teacher's knowledge. Unlike most history teachers and their beliefs, who I've rarely had good experiences with, he's actually okay at not being completely biased. We're supposed to have an actual debate soon. And, we're switching seats on Monday. Maybe I won't get stuck sitting next to a bigoted, stupid person who never shuts up and shows up to class twenty minutes late to class every day and thinks it makes her look all out-there to the teacher. and maybe we'll move on from the fucking economy one of these days, because this is pretty much the only area of politics where I can summon absolutely no interest and the extended discussions about it are surely killing me.

then in bio, we do labs and talk and proteins, and I'm struck by a niggling paranoia that everyone in there hates me. no matter, I suppose. I got an above average score on a test so all is well.

At the beginning of the school year, I always react weirdly to everyone around me. I don't do camp or anything much in the summer, so I'm not very social. I'm definitely an introvert, so this works out nicely. I'm not the most introverted person you'll ever meet or any ting, but I'm definitely sort of uncommonly introverted, I would say. at least based on how people behave at school. This I reckon is the reason why, when I'm thrown back into this highly social environment, it can be sort of startling and bewildering for me. Sometimes I really rather like having people around me(granted, it's sometimes in a sort of Dean Moriarty-like way, which is shameful, but I digress), and other times I can sort of panic and all of a sudden I decide to live my life as a recluse in rural England and nevereverever see anyone ever again. I'm always at one end of the spectrum or the other, and until I can become accustomed to it again, which can take up to two months, I can go through these horrible cycles. It's...irritating. It characterizes autumn, and the beginning of school is usually cool, but it's iterating all the same. it's the main, melodramatic point of general annoyance for me at the moment. Fucking leave me alone sometimes, people.

I saw Bill Bailey recently. He's a music comedian dude. He's no Tim Minchin, but he's very smart and funny and interesting. The venue didn't sell out so our seats got upgraded! We were ten feet away! His show was sort of weird combination of a lot of topics, but it was very good so I would highly recommend it. And then it was this sort of fair thing in the center of town recently, and the stalls weren't very good buI i saw a bunch of my friends do their Show Choir thing so that was fun. We hung out downtown, then I got a bagel and a Coolata, and came home. They had music, weird Beatles cover bands and folk groups and that sort of thing. I don't like seeing people I vaguely know outside of school, but remarkably managed to tolerate it that day. also, there were puppies.

My favorite things at the moment are the Thick of It, the Inbetweeners, Kerouac, Fantasia, the National, and I'm in a weird phase where I just wanna listen to Nirvana's In Utero constantly. Man, I hadn't listened to that album in three years. It's an amazing record. Autumn's almost here! I went to a Greek festival one weekend, but all the other weekends I just watch TV and read and buy books and watch Doctor Who and hang out with friends and put off all homework until Sunday night.

That is all for now.

I have A Midterm tomorrow

One that I should really, probably, most likely be actually studying for.





But you can only do so much, you know? I either know it or I don't. Yeah. Or, I've yet to come to terms with the fact that ten percent of my science grade depends on whatever happens tomorrow morning. Good lord.





the good thing is how this is all panning out for NaNoWriMo. Day off Tuesday, day off next Thursday, Thanksgiving, not too much homework, et cetera. It works out very well to write so many words each day which, if you're wondering, is going swimmingly. Way better than last year's at this stage although admittedly that was nothing short of horrendous from the get go. I'm better now with the idea that's it about just getting the words down, not making them sound terribly good.





On my day off I got orange gloves that I will most likely never wear for I've nothing to wear them with, which is a shame because they're just so incredibly lovely. and a sweatshirt. Frankly I feel I need more clothes but I dunno what clothes I want at the moment. *shrugs* I probably look stupid most of the time but I don't really wanna wear a lot of the stuff that's in Forever 21. I don't know how people actually pull of the stuff in there. And by pull off, I mean like normal. this is New England, not Paris. People here actually manage to make hipster clothes look untrendy, which is obviously I skill I will never master. Not that I know a whole ton about clothes beyond, like, Style Rookie and "oh, that's a nice color of t-shirt".





I have too many t-shirts. too many unisex t-shirts. they don't fit or work for me but oh they're so comfy, especially when I have to get dressed at like quarter past six every morning and I'm like "screw looking halfway decent". I can do that when I wake up on nine every saturday. Well, sort of. to the best of my ability I can.





I had a Spanish quiz yesterday which was easy and today i had to present a Spanish skit. I'm growing to hate this teacher, hate this language, et cetera. If I could turn back time, first thing I'd do is make myself take German instead. cause German is so cool. and also in the skit today we were doing a scene at a restaurant. I'm the customer who is a total bitch and has more lines than anyone else. One of my lines is 'Que Asco!" or "how gross" which by the way I wouldn't say in real life ever because A.) the word gross is, well, gross B.) I would end up nearly suicidal for all the mocking because of my accent and C.) Seriously, who actually complains about their food at a restaurant? No one! If you don't wanna eat it you don't technically have to. you don' have to tip either. No one actually complains to the waiter that their food tastes bad. my Spanish teacher had a go at me for not being expressive enough, so she's like "okay, say it in English". So, I do, as humiliating and aggravating as it was. and she laughs because I was expressionless, she thought, although a better term was "angry and anxious and terrified". I say the line in front of the class as best I can--I'm not an actor in any language, okay?--and she laughs. and then she says to the class after the skit "we quizzed naomi on it before, and she says it like that[lacking in expression] in English, too." I was busy ignoring her completely and getting a book from my bag, seeing as I'm apparently so lacking in emotion, although frankly, I was very, very, very pissed off. How dare she say that at all, let alone in front of the entire class? I hate this total...war against people who aren't the most extroverted and out-there people in the world. I hate it. It's everywhere! How many times a day am I asked to talk more? I can't even begin to count. Asked to be something I'm not. Ridiculed for being who I am. Humiliated and embarrassed and occasionally rather isolated for something that basically is beyond my control. Great. thank you, spanish teacher airhead snobby stuck up bitch.



Gym memories are flooding back from 8th grade. today we played matball. My entire class hates me because I do nothing, and I guess in some ways they're being very reasonable for hating me, but also people aren't necessarily hated by their peers for doing nothing in other classes, are they? I guess that's my educational Achilles Heel. I learn way better by doing stuff largely on my own. By the way, I also hate being told to run around the gym( technichally we didn't have to run but of course that rule evaporates the moment the game starts and it's not like the teachers care), kick a ball badly, be shouted at, laughed at, and stand, nothing short of terrified, hoping the ball doesn't go anywhere near you. "this game is supposed to be fun for everyone". Yeah, well why the fuck don't you try to achieve that?



Before the game started, my teacher was like "now, since this game is fun for everyone, if someone looks like they'd be okay with having a ball thrown at them, then you can do that. If they don't, then don't. For example, I don't think she would like to have the ball thrown at her because she's not the most interactive of people, so respect that."



Bet you can't guess whose shoulders her hands were on, who these embarrassing words were aimed at.



Sigh.



I had the big dreaded math test today for triangles I don't understand. Good thing is, no orthocenters or proofs. some stuff was a bit confusing and there were a few things I totally didn't get, but I did get at least one bonus right(with a circle, hahahaha), and apparently everyone struggled. Also I'm an a in that class so whatever.



Today I took a partner test which confused me and reviewed. Sorry to bring up a sort of recurring theme to this post, but my teacher was asking me about something and she was like "you know, I think this is the first time we've had a long enough conversation for me to work out you have an accent." She laughs. "You don't talk much".



you know you've had a bad day when this doesn't even enter your top five of worst moments.



Tomorrow will not go well but I'm an A- in science so it shouldn't be, like, horrendous or anything. or it could. actually, no, it will. Please no more energy stuff, Mrs. Teacher, that's killing me. wow I'm actually quite scared now. And how do i study for that? I've no idea!



PSMOTP;



Tthere's no...war or bomb shit in Crete, is there?" - Jez



Countdown; 22 Days.



I can't wait. Mark, Jez, Superhans, and I guess technically Jesse and Sam, you rock. blogspot won't let me post that annoying heart emoticon, but I promise you that is so appropriate here.

I can't stop listening to Robyn or eating Pringles. Weekend soon. I'm happy and slightly neurotic, or I wish I was.



I need to study. Bye Bye.

I'm Tireeeeeed.

Hello,

I'm a little out of it right now. For some reason for the last few days I haven't been too bad getting up for school and going to bed and things. And I don't think I'm jet lagged anymore, I don't feel it anyway. And then two hours ago I just kinda collapsed on the sofa I was so tired and feel asleep for two hours. I know it's very cool as a teenager to have silly sleeping schedules, but I am not liking this. I had so much to do tonight! That's two hours gone! It doesn't even feel like anything at the moment, I have a headache and I'm so exhausted, I dont have a chance to catch up on my reading, start my music blog, watch Peep Show again, go exploring the bands in the pages of the NME, or something. I'm really upset now. I used to love my nine to twelve Internet time followed by one episode of something on TV. But I just don't think I can make it. But what can I do? Ugh.

While day one was great, I've been definitely having a case of Second Album Syndrome with the last two. First off, on the subject of homework, I am most definitely not a happy camper. Monday was pretty bad, Tuesday was something else. I was struggling with math quite a lot at first, and I had to study for Spanish and I had science a little bit, and I needed to go get some more paper(mostly just to get out of the house, admittedly, although I spent most of the time outside the house in a panic). I got into the I'm So Stupid thing which is inconvenient and frustrating while doing homework but also wastes a good amount of time. I literally didn't have time for anything else that day. Maybe like a half hour to an hour online, that's it. There comes a point, surely, where the amount of homework one has becomes not only annoying, but unhealthy, right? If I didn't have time to do anything I liked...that can't be right, can it? How can anyone do this? How does anyone make it through high school alive? The work load is killing me right now.

I have two friends on the bus, and one of them is in my Physical Science, Spanish, and lunch with me. And don't get me wrong I like him, but I'm missing the independence that for me came with middle school in that I wasn't followed around by someone half the day. I've spent so much of the last few days talking to him or someone in the hallway, and frankly it's driving me a bit crazy. I'm excited for this weekend just so I can be to myself at last. Gaaaah. I'll bring my iPod on Tuesday(long weekend, woo). I'm sick of being talked to for the moment. I brought my book in to lunch today. It was worth it. Lunch feels long in high school, but of course it isn't.

OH WAIT. Just so you know, while I like Blogspot, it can be unbearably annoying sometimes. Like last night, where as you recall I was fighting to urge to collapse at my keyboard, I finally wrote out the damn post, and then Blogspot decided to save only to here. Silly Blogspot. Maybe it was a sign--it's 8 in the morning now and it's finally the weekend! Also, I'm not so tired anymore. So hello again!

Anyway I finally found the short route to Geometry yesterday! Finally! I finally understand this place. Classes are same old. Science isn't that interesting but I'm actually keeping up at the moment and geometry isn't that boring for Geometry. Notice how the combination of physical science, geometry, Spanish, and gym is pure, pure evil. I dislike my Spanish class a lot and I don't get to sit where I want anymore but I'm not struggling as much as I thought i would. I had a quiz yesterday on some basic stuff and I didn't do great(hey--no time to study!), but at the same time, I didn't completely fail either. the middle ground is where it's best to be, right?

I've always dreaded gym, because all I've ever known is dreading gym. But the high school gym we have isn't that bad. Mostly because it isn't gym, admittedly, but still. Yesterday we walked round the ropes course they have out there. It's nice that they have such a thing, but no, I will not be using it if I can avoid it. that stuff stresses me. It will not stress me as much as middle school volleyball, but it stresses me nonetheless. Afterwards we played some get to know you games that involved talking to people and that was that. Also, big moment for me, I had my first proper conversation with someone not from my school. okay, so a conversation for me probably isn't a conversation for you, but it was a moment nonetheless. She said her school was full of stupid people and she likes music. Um, kinda sounds exactly like me. She's in my study too. It should be fun.

Earl was supposed to go by where I live. No show! I wanted apocalyptic dramatic weather! Not fair!

Also, what are your opinions on the background? It's my belief that summer is decided by weather not by school so technically it's still summer and I needed something summery. it's either that or the brown one with birds. obviously that'd fit in with the title more, but who knows? The background fits in with how I feel right now--relaxed, summery, happy, happy to be doing nothing whatsoever. Happy happy happy. I've no plans for the weekend yet. Beach maybe. Today I'm probably going out for yet more CDs. FREELANCE WHALES, PLEASE. The question is, will anywhere sell them? I'm guessing no but it's worth a shot. I think my sister will have a friend round too. I just need to get out of the house. I haven't been anywhere for recreation since we got back, and I'm a bit bored.

So until another jumbled, horrendously bad blog post. See ya, world!

- Naomi