this song is like an 80s movie

guys

this song

it's like every 80s teen movie thrown in a blender and made into a song. excuse me for thinking it's brilliant. and for writing like this is tumblr.

so, uh, school. my life. what's been happening. I can't really summarize the whole thing in a cohesive manner.

We're reading Hemingway in English which is...kind of okay. It's war stories. I have no taste in books! Let's embrace it! I spent the first week of school lost in On The Road and everything's seemed so dull since. Everything about me is an affection, eh? Again, let's skip round this point and pretend I've got anything to say. it takes a lot to interest me in a war story, and not even Hemingway has that power, generally. I wanna read his other stuff, though, cause it just seems like the sort of thing you should read, you know? However, I'm kind of okay with all of that nonsense because the class is a literary wasteland as it is. the inane teaching style continues! We're forced to write poetry about these stories. Forced to write poetry. This is something that should never, ever happen. Like, ever. Nothing good ever comes out of forced group poetry-writing sessions, and the teacher knows it. However, she does seem irritatingly willing to display this train wreck AB-rhyme scheme poetry all across the room. other than covering up the walls, which are a shade of blue reminiscent of bad bathroom design, I don't see where she's coming from on this. Oh, we draw pictures too. Despite my teacher's hope that she can suck some creativity out of before the school's collective 9:30 caffeine buzz sets in, the result is usually forty five-minute long discussions about anything else. When we get to chose our own groups, the results are usually good; I end up with two girls I sort of know and am sort of ambivalent about, and most of their discussions revolve about how 'Asian' their families are, and I nod and smile at that. And I can usually read and whatever at these times. When we don't get to choose our groups, the result is a highly tedious class filled with occasional awkward almost-conversations with people I don't know. The people around me get to class early, and are a curiously comical bunch, in a really contrived way. Think Friends. Yeah. At least, that's how they see themselves. Sigh. Luckily, we're reading Gatsby soon(finallyfinallyfinally though it's only been like three weeks) which might just be the pinnacle of my year.

Algebra is usually filled with sly, sarcastic comments on the part of everyone around me, but the teacher gives us breaks and I can read. My parents, after open house, dew scribed my teacher as 'extremely weird'. My teacher has mistakenly given me a 100.0 average in that class.

and the pseudo-politicized debates rage on in 20th century history. The focus seems more to be on current affairs than the actual 20th century. For all I hear(and ignore) politics at school and what have you, it seems very few people actually walk the walk about this stuff. the whole class tests the limits of my teacher's knowledge. Unlike most history teachers and their beliefs, who I've rarely had good experiences with, he's actually okay at not being completely biased. We're supposed to have an actual debate soon. And, we're switching seats on Monday. Maybe I won't get stuck sitting next to a bigoted, stupid person who never shuts up and shows up to class twenty minutes late to class every day and thinks it makes her look all out-there to the teacher. and maybe we'll move on from the fucking economy one of these days, because this is pretty much the only area of politics where I can summon absolutely no interest and the extended discussions about it are surely killing me.

then in bio, we do labs and talk and proteins, and I'm struck by a niggling paranoia that everyone in there hates me. no matter, I suppose. I got an above average score on a test so all is well.

At the beginning of the school year, I always react weirdly to everyone around me. I don't do camp or anything much in the summer, so I'm not very social. I'm definitely an introvert, so this works out nicely. I'm not the most introverted person you'll ever meet or any ting, but I'm definitely sort of uncommonly introverted, I would say. at least based on how people behave at school. This I reckon is the reason why, when I'm thrown back into this highly social environment, it can be sort of startling and bewildering for me. Sometimes I really rather like having people around me(granted, it's sometimes in a sort of Dean Moriarty-like way, which is shameful, but I digress), and other times I can sort of panic and all of a sudden I decide to live my life as a recluse in rural England and nevereverever see anyone ever again. I'm always at one end of the spectrum or the other, and until I can become accustomed to it again, which can take up to two months, I can go through these horrible cycles. It's...irritating. It characterizes autumn, and the beginning of school is usually cool, but it's iterating all the same. it's the main, melodramatic point of general annoyance for me at the moment. Fucking leave me alone sometimes, people.

I saw Bill Bailey recently. He's a music comedian dude. He's no Tim Minchin, but he's very smart and funny and interesting. The venue didn't sell out so our seats got upgraded! We were ten feet away! His show was sort of weird combination of a lot of topics, but it was very good so I would highly recommend it. And then it was this sort of fair thing in the center of town recently, and the stalls weren't very good buI i saw a bunch of my friends do their Show Choir thing so that was fun. We hung out downtown, then I got a bagel and a Coolata, and came home. They had music, weird Beatles cover bands and folk groups and that sort of thing. I don't like seeing people I vaguely know outside of school, but remarkably managed to tolerate it that day. also, there were puppies.

My favorite things at the moment are the Thick of It, the Inbetweeners, Kerouac, Fantasia, the National, and I'm in a weird phase where I just wanna listen to Nirvana's In Utero constantly. Man, I hadn't listened to that album in three years. It's an amazing record. Autumn's almost here! I went to a Greek festival one weekend, but all the other weekends I just watch TV and read and buy books and watch Doctor Who and hang out with friends and put off all homework until Sunday night.

That is all for now.

England in two days.

In the days running up to going to England, I always feel both very excited and slightly sad, as I will be spending the next month away from this place. And when I get back? it's a few days off and then school. School again. In a way this is an end to a part of summer, which is why I don't feel over the moon per se. Don't get me wrong, I love going to England each year, I love seeing everything I miss, but now that I'm cool with this country I miss being here, as well. Also, going to England is always a bit of a business. Luckily I don't have to leave for the airport until late afternoon on Wednesday, but my family always packs at the last minute(myself included), and I've gotten into the habit of waking up at midday this summer, so Wednesday's gonna be pretty stressful. Obviously flights are never fun anyway, but god forbid I get the crappy entertainment system where you can't choose what shows you watch, or if there are delays this year. I have a bunch of stuff left to organize, such as CDs, while I'm still here too. Nevertheless, I'm making a conceited effort to make the best of the upcoming few days, which are gonna be a bit tough.

The best part about flying to england? The obvious: landing. But not just because it's like "THANK CHRIST, IT'S OVER" but because I walk outside and I see signs with different spellings and people with the same accent as me and HMVs and WHSmiths and I walk outside the airport and I feel that cold, smoke-filled English air. Silly stuff like that.

I've made the most of my time here, I think. It's been fun and a great break from a tough school year.

Today, I went to the beach. Had to get up early so I could catch low tide and a walk across to this little island right off shore. It feels like a tropical island because it's so overgrown. Since the weather wasn't very hot, the beach wasn't too crowded. However, we did establish that we were sitting behind a family of Germans(with the best beach umbrellas around, not gonna lie).*The temperature was actually bearable this time, and even the water was fun to be in. Oh yeah, I'm fully aware I'm a lone wolf on this one but I love British beaches. Not when you get an unexpected "heat wave"(anything above like 65 degrees, actually) and the entire country runs to the coast, but when the weather is typical and gray and rainy and you're the only people there because the water is freezing and the sand is wet. I just think it's fun.

Yesterday I went to Borders. Sad that it's closing down I suppose. I know every one's saying that, but I mean it. In the past I actually bought stuff there, books and magazines and all. Society's screwed. I was actually in there that day looking for a specific book...this was the case for, oh, no one else in the crowded store at the time. The response of the average person to Borders closing was not "oh it's a loss of knowledge and the spreading of knowledge and learning and why don't people know the value of the printed word anymore?" which is a contrived but perfectly valid response. No, most people responded with "oh, that's a bit sad. HEY IT'S A SALE LET'S BUY STUFF". So the place was filled with people carrying around trolleys literally grabbing any old thing of the shelves that they may or may not(but probably not) pay any attention to after they get home. "Ooh, flashy cover, and it's ON SALE, I must buy it now." One overhears some shitty conversations too. I'm sorry but if it takes like a 15% discount for you to pick up a fucking book, I think you're pathetic. Where the hell were you guys before? You're the type of person who has all the time in the world to go to a book store, but instead chooses to buy a gimmick like a Kindle and never actually read using it. Jesus Christ. I know I'm like the most illiterate book snob there has even been, but this scene was just a ridiculous demonstration of the stupid things people round here do. I was fuming at the ears by the time I left that place! Luckily, I went out to dinner in the evening and had a slow day. This improved my mood.

Sautrday I made a gooseberry crumble in the morning and went to the mall with some friends in the evening. That was a fun time--I got a book with some of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories, and also an Airborne Toxic Event CD. Oh yeah, and another raspberry coolata. I pondered the complications of spending the rest of my life on a diet consisting of nothing but blue raspberry coolatas and bagels. The Apple store was as busy and white as ever. also we got the TVs in the food court to play Ellie Goulding. So overall, that was a fun day.

And Friday, the weather was listed as "dangerously hot", or something like that, so I had to stay out of the sun for most of the day. I went school supply shopping for my sister and again went into a book shop. I'm looking for a book--nothing specific, just any book, any collected works--by John Betjeman. No luck so far. I couldn't find anything else in the store either. Why do so many popular books look terrible? Like, the sort of "beach reading" stuff, my god, it looks awful. They didn't have any of the magazines I like either, sadly. Also, I got ice cream that day.

I finished my school reading book but will likely put off note-taking for some weeks yet. It was okay, a bit repetitive though, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get out of it. Dammit. I can't analyze books to save my life' I really can't. Hopefully the essay I'll do in September will end up a bit better than last year's Secret Life of Bees disaster. Not even gonna discuss that.

As for music, I've been listening to a lot of Frankmusik, Arctic Monkeys, Hurts, Imelda May, and other such things. The last couple of months haven't been the best for music for me, you had some great things in winter and spring and them it sort of died out. Apart from Patrick Wolf. Haven't a clue why this has happened, it's probably in my head. With new albums from Beirut and Laura Marling, the Killers and Biffy Clyro recording, and new stuff from Arctic Monkeys and Bon Iver and Elbow still in my mind, why should I be complaining? Answer: I shouldn't. I'm just sick and tired of people fusing dubstep and pop and also reading the NME gush about some Oasis-wannabees. This is not new, but it's frustrating. It's just a blip, I'll find something new soon enough. Oh yeah, Imelda May, she's amazing. She did this jazzy cover of Tainted Love, I could listen to it all day.

Off to watch the Office for one of the last times. Speak to you from across the Atlantic next time, everyone.

* In Europe, if you go to a beach in Spain or Greece or wherever, the Germans are famous for being the first there. A British family can get up at the crack of dawn, but there will always by a group of Germans there first. The fact that this has seemingly transcended the Atlantic made me smile.

freelove on the freelove freeway.

the title is from an episode of the UK office. It's one of the most well-known bits now, I've discovered, and for good reason. I'd put some research into it if you don't know it already. It. Is. Gold. Also they did a studio version of it with Noel freaking Gallagher.

The Office is my obsession. I've watched all of season 1 multiple times, and I bought season 2 today and I'm already half way through it. And it's hilarious. And I'm preeeetty pissed at the whole Tim&Rachel thing, and Gareth never stops making me laugh. Though I will concede, the story of him methodically working through a set of Top Trump cards to work out the mathematically most successful cards is...both painfully, and laughably, familiar. But I was, what, 8 at the time? I'll cling to that subtle difference because it's one thing to compare your social ability to Mark Corrigan's; it is another entirely to compare it to Gareth Keenan's.

Also I'm gonna give the Office US a go for sure. And would it be two obsessive if I also bought the French, German, Quebecois, Brazilian, Chilean, and Israeli versions? These have all tempted me. Apparently the German one in particular is pretty awesome.

It is odd, having this much time on my hands. Summer's awesome but it feels like I forget everything. Here's what I do--I read, I go on the computer, I write, I play Animal Crossing, I play piano, I watch DVDs. Life of a loser indeed.

I've read a number of books this summer. Currently I'm working on The Pact by Jodi Picoult. This is my 3rd time reading her, I think she's awesome, don't be fooled by the shitty covers and bland synopses and the fact that she's sort of thrown in a heap with Nicholas Sparks and Sarah Dessen. Though her work is currently not getting too much of my attention, but that is probably because I just finished the Great Gatsby and I thought it was absolutely fantastic and everything else looks so bad in comparison. Why do I love the books I'm supposed to like but I can never get my head around Music I'm Supposed To Like? Onto the favorites list this goes, along with The Perks of Being A Wallflower and the Bell jar and The Color Purple and the like. Hmmm. Really though, fucking genius book. I relate to Nick far too much for my own good and I think it raises super interesting questions. I know I'm reading it next year in english but I've been meaning to read it for ages and if it turns out we read it in like May I simply cannot wait that long. I'm excited for the reread only because I see no way, this time round, that I could be the only one enjoying the story. It is not possible. But, then again, I will be a sophomore. When you become a sophomore, I swear your IQ points fly our your ears.

Oh yeah, great news, I'm seeing Kaiser Chiefs in September! Them and the National the week before woohoo, I love start-of-year gigs. Plus, seeing them at V, so all is good. Cannot wait for V, by the way. Eminem oh my god, I will die of joy at Love the Way You Lie. Also, KC will have the moshpit to end all moshpits and the Arctic Monkeys are just amazing in every single way, as I'm sure I've discussed before.


Today my sister had friends round. I've finally fallen victim to that ol' high school habbit of waking up at unreasonable hours so they were there when I woke up and I had to live as a shadow in the house. my mom ordered pizza and I ate it out of sight. God, how about that? So adolescent. Then I went to my piano lesson. The summer hours are great, there's usually this vocal student who belts out the same seven-minute power ballad about 'falling apart' every week and I cannot concentrate. Now we don't clash anymore! I'm trying to play Habanera from Carmen, with little success. I'm doing my 'fun songs' from an easy classics book. My piano teacher thinks I'm mad, thinks my mom's forcing me to play those. I know very little about classical, but I do know that I'd rather be playing that than, say, Keane, y'know? After my lesson I had dinner and watched the Office.

Yesterday, too, was fun. I picked raspberries and made them into raspberry crumble. I've never had raspberry crumble before, but I'm an all-round crumble fan so you can't go wrong. Hoping to make gooseberry fool soon. Oh this just makes me think of England(three weeks!)--my dad's side of the family are throwing a party for his 50th, and my grandparents make the best desserts conceivable. Plus, the whole lot are coming, bar I believe my one cousin in Chicago. I'm actually really excited. It's what's fun about your typical English family. Small and reserved and avoid confrontation like the plague. Runs like a dream.

I've yet to find Amelie on DVD. Or to find somewhere showing Submarine. Haha look at me talking like I know shit about movies. Or 'films' should I say for some indie cred. Now let's go mainstream. Deathly Hallows in less than two weeks, eh? How about that? Who's ready to wish a final fair well to their childhood. Not me. I was 5 when the first movie came out. I don't remember that, but I do very vividly remember seeing the 2nd. I'm not a huge Potter fan, and I was thinking earlier about how fucking ostentatious the whole 2nd half of Hallows is, and yet I'm still excited. Can't wait to talk about it.

On Saturday, I got Swiss bread at a market place in town and went for a walk around the woods. In case you're wondering, no, I do not know how Swiss bread differs from all the other kinds of breads. All I know is that it tastes amazing and they have it shaped as frogs. Sunday was similarly quiet, I went to the Jack Kerouac memorial in Lowell. I've never been before but I kinda love it. I've been meaning to read On The Road for a while, actually. This has given me just motivation. Also we went on a trolly around Lowell and to an art place. It was the 3rd so it was empty.

I love the 4th! I hope I don't somehow offend anyone by saying that, me being a Brit and all. Though I suppose it's all in good fun. On the 3rd I went to the fireworks display at school. I ended up with two friends and an acquaintance. it was funny, seeing so many cars and all the people splayed across the school field and also how different it is to school and how much less I miss school than I thought I would. Don't miss it at all! After all the cars hurried away, it was just me and these couple of friends and the smoke left from the fireworks(which were awesome, by the way) and it was great fun. Friends are the only thing I miss about school. On the actual 4th, I went into town cause it's fun to wander when it's empty, then I went into Boston for the fireworks. They were every bit as awesome as I remember them from last year. I'm an introvert who likes crowds, is that weird? The show was great and I love how you move as one giant group through the streets of Boston and how chaotic it is. Also, I like to listen to Tim Minchin's White Wine In The Sun on the 4th A.) Because it's a Christmas song haha and B.) Because it somehow sounds more beautiful on the 4th than any other day of the year. No idea why.

Such is my life of the last few days. Summer is going swimmingly and I hope to blog again soon!

She's Thunderstorms.

it's Monday evening. I've still got science homework and an english essay to do, so I'll make this week's entry as brief as I can possibly manage.

Shitty weekend overall. The weather was awful and I've been doing homework the entire time. Six school days to go, can you believe it? I certainly can't. Next time I talk to you here, I'll be in full blown final studying mania. Not fun.

Two redeeming elements of the weekend. One, the final Doctor Who. I don't have the time for a full-blown list of every thought that went through my head(there were a ton of them) but I will say that I loved the episode and, while tumblr basically revealed everything that happened prior, I thought the twist was amazing and am in love with how Moffat writes things. One of the best episodes yet, and naturally, one of the most confusing as well. I am going to miss this show like crazy over summer, really. But at least this means I'm actually looking forward to September now, right? Right. Also, a couple of friends came round and we made Doctor Who themed t-shirts, tardis blue spray paint and all. I basically just copied the design of the tardis onto a tanktop and it looks shitty but it was so much fun. I loved that.

Second thing. The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Cbosky. Oh. my. god. One of my new favorite books? Yes. My favorite YA novel ever? Totally. (though obviously the second one is not really a difficult thing to achieve in this day and age...but still, the book fucking rocks). As it's being made into a movie and it's pretty popular already, I guess it's likely you've read it, but if you haven't, you need to, because it's one of those books that kinda changes your life. In a cliched, contrived way. But still! I love it. So go read it.

I saw the Script on wednesday! It was, to be honest, a whole lot of fun. Plus, the venue was absolutely amazing. it was basically a huge tent, kinda like the dance tents you get at festivals, and all around it was just like a festival, with crappy food places and ice cream stands and what have you, but it was amazing too. except it's better than a festival, because at night when you look outside the tent, you see a fucking city. a city with awesome lights and everything. so that was gorgeous. Plus, I saw a handful of people from school there! Safety Suit opened, and they were terrible, and the next day at school I had to pretend they weren't terrible because my sort-of friend really likes them. And pretending they were good was very, very hard. The Script were fun though--they played Science and Faith, Before the Worst, Talk You Down, Break Even, the Man Who Can't be Moved(always amazing), Dead Man Walking, You Won't Feel A Thing, Nothing, We Cry, if You See Kay, Rusty Halo, and a few more from the new album that I'm not familiar with. It was a good night. Also since I'm so in love with the venue, I got tickets to see the National there in September. I'm excited!

Time for a school runthrough.

I have two art classes left to go, and then a final. Thank. God. I really do hate this class. I was an idiot when doing my course selection for next year, and I'm up for two art classes if I don't get into Chemistry. (chances of getting into Chemistry are minuscule). I have to opt out of one of those, or I will die. Or opt out of both--there's a second English course you can take, and it's not much fun, mostly just writing essays, but I think I'd take that over art. Plus, a bunch of people I like are taking the English thing. Whereas art could be anyone sophomore through junior, and I can just imagine being in a class which I despise. Anyway, point is the people at my table have exhausted about all opportunities for stupid conversations, and now it's just boiled down to the cycle of 1. Say you're bad at art 2. Have someone say you're not and 3. Repeat until the bell rings. I want to get this done as soon as possible...I am literally gonna rush through my last project, and what does it matter, according to my teacher nothing I do is okay anyway. No big deal. The final(which is Friday), is a written thing, I think, and my teacher didn't teach us a damn thing. Fun. It's lucky that Art is gonna be my first final, partly because it means I don't have to be properly awake at that point, and partly because I want to be done with this class ASAP.

Health! My teacher was pretty pissed that I'd missed my presentation slot, but it turned out okay as I just went on Tuesday instead. She was unreasonably impressed, mostly because of a few rare statistics, but it's not like the presentation was actually good. I got a 95%. Then on Thursday & Today we talked about sexual harassment, shitty high school movie from the 80s and all. Today was an interesting one, though, I guess. We were put into groups and asked to make a list of things that prevent sexual harassment, date rape, et cetera. Inevitably, the first idea to pop up was "well, don't dress like a whore" and, guess what, I held my fucking ground against that one. I mean, I almost always try to go with what I believe, but it's kind of hard in that situation, especially as I am not particularly familiar with either of the girls I was with. But I was all "no, that's victim blaming" and eventually our group never wrote that down cause of me. And, best thing is, one of the girls wasn't familiar with victim blaming and why it's bad, so I got to spread some knowledge on that front. Sadly the health teacher disagreed with me on this opinion, but oh well. I just wanna alter society for the better, you know. My final for health is midmorning on Friday. I'm not too worried about it. my final schedule turned out really nicely this semester.

The science test turned out well enough--an 89. After a slew of lukewarm grades on handouts and tests, I'm just hoping I can do well enough on the final to keep my grade an A. If I do that, I'll have all As this semester. The good thing is, we finished our final environmental project this week. Turned it in today. my portion was decent, and everyone else's looks good. She grades very easily on projects and what have you--we're about guaranteed a good grade. Apart from gym, this is my most hate class of the entire year, I really need to just get through biomes, cram for the final, and leave. I need to be done with it. We have a really complete study guide for the final, and we get to see the essay questions in advance. Also it's next monday, so I have the weekend to just study that. if I get an A on that, and at least a B on the final project, I'm guaranteed an A. I'm like an A minus at the moment, so really it isn't too much of a stretch. I need to make more of an effort for this last week, though.

it's good to know we're ending the year in World Civ with a really fun topic--the French Revolution! We started it last week, and I'm having a lot of fun with it, to be perfectly nerdily honest. We started with a movie, as always, which was good enough, and then we did the whole 'does the end justify the means' thing: a discussion which only serves to make me a bit angry. Nevertheless, I perservered through that, and then we began our final project. This is in place of a final, thank god, and I present it in my last ever freshman class, next Tuesday. I'm in a group of six. I'm basically with three decent guys who I don't know very well, one irritating dick, and one stupid, vapid idiot who went four days thinking we were working on the American Revolution, rather than the French one. (how can anyone even do that?) There's no information on what I need to find, and I'm about done anyway, so I get to read the entire time. This is my World Civ life through to Wednesday, I believe. I guess it's a good way to end this class.

In English, we absolutely raced through Romeo & Juliet. The packet questions can be answered in the before-chapter summary, and there's a key on the left side of the page that translates some of the harder sections, so I honestly don't properly read this book. That's a bit embarassing, I know. While she said we wouldn't act out big parts of it, we did spend massive chunks of time doing that, and I had to play Benvolio at one point. I honestly don't know what sort of things she expects us to find in this play. If we do an essay on this, I will cry. Oh, we spent a whole lot of time watching the movie of it, too. Basically, the last week has been something of a breeze. We reviewed grammar the entire time today, I worked on my own and listened to funny conversations. It was a very nice class. I have a portfolio thing due Wednesday, which I haven't really started, but after that the class will be easy. I liked the way this class worked; I will miss it. my final is on Friday...I just need to review grammar, get some meaning out of the books we've read via Sparknotes and Wikipedia, and then I'm done.

So, that's about it. Summer fever is kicking in, naturally. Though, being me, part of me doesn't want this year to end. I'll say it again: I'm a nostalgic mess. But then again...nowadays I DO just wanna play Animal Crossing, make a collage on my bedroom wall, and construct a summer mixtape for some person. So maybe I do want summer.

Still, I'm gonna miss a ton of stuff.

But then again...England in August, and maybe Niagara Falls in July, and July 4th and sunsets and warm weather and sleep. Hmm.

I have stuff to do. Night everyone.

like a house of leaves moments before the wind

I'm here singing along to my All Time Low CD. Not very cool but I'm not bothered--easy listening, i guess. that and Blah Blah Blah by Kesha and Villagers' debut. I wish I still had time for music.

This week I got a D on a math test and a C on a science test. If it was possible for one's self esteem and/or confidence to be bi-polar then mine would certainly be just that. Simply put, not a good week in that respect. I do technically know the math stuff, really. In my math class my teacher just started doing Plus Quizzes and Tests, which she's given about five kids in the class. I'm kinda the bottom of the top, shall we say. the test was hard, really it was. or I'm dumb. either way, I fuck up on this test and I go from a ninetysevenfuckingpercent to an A minus and I had a quiz today which I didn't do well on. that wasn't even plus. dammit. And science was simply a disaster. Hello, B Minus. Goodbye high honors. And I was prepared! But I got a 75! Grrrr! Then I had to fuck up my science essay. my dad likes this stars stuff and in the end he was like, okay I'll just do your citations go do your math homework, which works out very well on my part. still, I was too tired to move and so was he--goodbye good grade. and maximum 150 points on that project, my God, I'm so screwed. gotta throw a presentation together by Wednesday. anxiety returning. hello old friend.

My mom's annoyed at the school 'cause of the homework load. can't say I disagree. all I do after school is piano once a week and guitar on the weekend, and I'm up all night doing homework. no wonder I'm fucking up on a semi-regular basis now; I'm tired. Tired beyond reason. Not a normal fatigue, no, just a general exhaustion at the overwhelming magnitude of...stuff. yes, because that's so eloquent, right Naomi? well, you get my idea. I want to be done with this last week before Christmas, because physically doing anything is killing me. It kinda feels like I've no time for anything anymore, not even music or books or TV, which is pretty sad because I've been rocking that whole premature middle aged "my life is slipping away" thing at the moment, and this only makes it worse. Sigh. High school.

Shining light of hope is a possible snow day on Monday. At the very least, yes, we get snow! I've gotten so adapted to white Christmases it'd feel weird without one now. to think I was worried--bah. around eight inches. lovely. and a day off school, please.

I finally got round to getting a Christmas sheet music book. Can already play simple versions of a few songs. I used to be able to play Walking in The Air but I need to re-remember. speaking of that, my mom got The Snowman DVD for me, last copy in the store, and I was pleased because A.) I didn't think such a find would be possible and B.) the film is beautiful. That was one of my favorite songs when I was younger. I was more musically oriented than I was aware when I was younger. that and Brother Bear and Kaiser Chiefs. anyway, point being, it's starting to feel like christmas. We're getting our tree tomorrow(none of that plastic crap. see my last post.) and I see lights everywhere and there will be snow. I'm seeing my aunt on Wednesday. this time next week I'll be watching a DVD with my family and eating baked potatoes and making mince pies. traditions. whoever says Christmas is overrated in the name of their angst is moronic--Christmas is the best.

oh, I saw Weezer on Tuesday. basically amazing. I do love Rivers Cuomo and his fantastic nerd rock. The place I saw them is this spectacular crumbling wannabe opera house. It has these little balconies with a name I don't know that stick out from the sides. those little boxes, you know the type. and at one point Rivers climbs on top of them while singing Pork and Beans, and then he climbed from these boxes to the balcony(or, was pulled up. the gap was like his whole body length.) and then sang all of Beverly Hills in the balcony, where I, on the floor, couldn't see him. it was wonderful. They played hits, had an intermission, made some guy come up with a power point of Weezer's history( total nerdgasm right there) and then played the blue album back to front. I've never seen a band perform an entire album, and it was interesting. sadly I was falling asleep for some of that. Dammit high school, you ruin so much. But I got to walk through Boston in my River Island concert boots and my mom's old jacket like I'm from My Chemical Romance pre good music. It was snowing a bit then, too.

relaxing week apart from all that, although in fairness the stress was about 95% of my week. gym was super great today. teacher read my tired mind and let us do anything. we played four square and blasted christmas music. I still dislike girls in my class but oh well. Me and these people in study are reading my crumbling copy of the Color Purple which I'm rereading because I love it to death, and they just end up grimacing. it's disrespectful, and funny in a sick way.

OH, House of leaves! It's a book my Mark Z Danielewski who wrote Only Revolutions. I went fangirl briefly about it in October. Fact; OR is awful compared to this book. it's 700 hundred something pages long, rather crazy, and took more than two weeks for my slow brain to finish. the day before last, I closed the book with some sadness. It was the sort of book that i would love to go on forever. the book's super complex, very deep, very interesting, very weird, very, well, good. and so beautiful. as much a horror story as a love story and deeply fascinating. plus, the guy's such a poet. title quote.I don't know, I like it. read it. you won't regret it.

I'm gonna spend my evening with Guy Garvey's sultry tones(did I just say that) and my latest obsession that is fashion blogs. like everyone else.

good night.

without him I am only revolutions of ruin.

Hello world.



I'm eating salt and vinager crisps/chips/whatever at the moment. They're my favorite kind. It's weird because most places don't sell them. And also, salt and vinegar are suppsoed to be blue, ready salted red, etcetera. I hate when they mess around with the colors. I love how I'm refering to 'them' like they're this big corporation we're supposed to oppose. I mean yeah they're a big coporation but I sound like I'm trying to be such a rebel for disliking crisp colors. Yeah, fight the power.



I'm just about done with homework now. I mean, I'm totally and completely lost with math at the moment and I have a test tomorrow which is fantastic obviously. What exactly is the point of a geometric proof? I hate it. Everyone at my table(which, by the way, is all the shy kids thrown together for no real reason. Silly teacher) was completely lost, too, and the teacher made it no clearer. My mom looked at it, and she had no clue either. The rules are too stupid and particular you can't do anything with them. So fail this test I will.

I'm probably best at math out of everything at the moment, oddly. I got 100% on a quiz last week. First 100% of the year and I really didn't deserve it but oh well, a hundreds a hundred right? Spanish is going okay in terms of quizzes and stuff, although I had an oral quiz last week which did not go too well. I keep making an idiot of myself in front of the class, but that happens the whole time anyway. At least we changed seats and I'm sitting next to a friend of a friend and this quiet guy who seems nice, rather than the snob and the guy who cracks his gum too loud. And we haven't sung anything in a few days, hoorah.

Science is going okay too. Got an 85% on a test. Not great but I'd say fairly average judging by the looks of things. I did okay on my lab which is weird because I hate labs. I actually like Newton's laws this time around. I hated it in 7th grade. It makes sense now and I like it.

Things are just generallys o much better than 6/7/8th grades now, anywa. I miss seeing all my friends evereyday, but I do not miss how nervous and stressed and stuff I felt last year. I feel so much better now. I do miss seeing all my friends in the hallway but just about everything else is okay.

Oh, except gym. Gym was a nigthmare today. In gym you basically have to physically attach me to someone running to make me run. Remarkabley, they knew that. I was in a chain of people today holding hands as they ran to catch other people. I hate running. Then we had to do one of this logic problems where you're standing on mats and you can barely make everyone fit and you end up just holding on to each other for dear life. And then, get this, we play this puzzle game and if you get it you're "in the possy" and if you don't you're out until you do. I never get that stuff anyway but whatever. I was actually told by someone else how to do it I just couldn't be bothered. That's the honest truth. But it's sort of humiliating ansd unfuriating how when you're the last of two people left and everyone's giving it away and laughing. Especially now that the group's supposed to be about friendship and making conncections and having higher self esteem. BS. And then these girls who I actually like walked back mocking my accent. My accent kinda gave away the trick that got me into the group. Partly why I was embarassed with it. But anyway, it's weird with the accent thing because A it hasn't happened in a long time and B Rarely was it as bad as that. I'm not saying it's such enormous discrimination because it obviously isn't, it's just sort of frustrating and sadenning when it happens. I wad acvtually pretty upset after all that. Read my book in the hallway after gym. Ha.

I have study hall tomorrow. It's both a laugh and a burden. Some girl's started sneaking in now to talk to her boyfriend who's so loud and disrupts everyone anyway, and she just kinda doubles it. Poor kid in my class is fourteen and looks half his age and he has now developed the niockname "Minny Allen" And then they throw paper planes and giggle and the happy couple kiss and it's blooding annoying. Then again, it's not gym.

Had a great weekend, too. it was *name of my town* Day on Saturday which was great fun. Got slightly freaked by all thepeople I could potentially happen(don't know what that happens, but id does) but it was great, they had a lot of stores and it was well into the 80s temperature wise which was great because I'm growing to hate fall. I got Swiss bread that I got before. Walked around. Looked at stuff. I like days like this. And, oh, get this, The Candles were there. The Candles are huge. Reviewed in the NME and everything. I 'd actually heard of them before, which is weird for such a smalle event. They really didn't deserve The Candles, but hey, they got them! And it was great. Adorable. great summer music. I got their CD although I'm not sure it's the sort of thing I would ordinarily listen to. Still, it was fun. Next Saturday I have a neighborhood autumn party type thing. A ton of people are going and it's gonna be absolutely phenomenal. Can't wait.

I read the new Ellen Hopkins book, Fallout and it was pretty mediocre. Fun to read but had no plot. I'm not sure how realistic her characters are but I can never really see myself in normal teen characters, so maybe I'm not the best resource for that. I loved Crank and Glass was pretty good and I've read a lot of her other books and I liked those, but Fallout didn't quite do it for me.

I ordered (the readable) Only Revolutions sa few days ago because I am really that much of a Biffy Clyro fan. I'm like 40 pages in and my God it is phenomenal. Almost compelte nonsense, but profundly beautiful, intimindating, unique, revolutionary, poetic, realistic, entertaining, daunting. You spend half your time reading it upside down and it's clever. There are some things that are so quotable in there, too. It's extordariny. Writing hasn't really done anything new in...well, quite a long time and it's people like this guy who make it more interesting. Like, way more itneresting. it's nothing short of spectacular, I promise you, and easily one of my favorite books. Anyone who can read must go and read it NOW.

I'm gonna cram for math and find a song I like that's actually on iTunes. It will be a tricky hour. Then I'm gonna forget all of that and listen to the Pope Song by Tim Minchin until I fall asleep.

Guten nacht, all.

- Naomi

the birds and the bees have all caught STDs(not that this is at all relevant)

Hello world.

Guys, a line has been met. I have now officially seen every single Peep Show episode there has been. Yes, it is very sad. Until November there is no more Mark Corrigan quotes for me to discover. Very sad indeed. Until November I'll just have to keep updating my AIM with random excerpts of wit and keep telling myself I will one day create a band called the Big Beat Manifesto, just because of Jez and Superhans. I thought that was worth noting.

I'm listening to Tinie Tempah for some reason I can't really explain. Enough of that. I can't explain my music at the moment--I'm on a poetry writing tip which never happens because I can't write anyway, I barely practiced piano this week, and my CD player keeps vomiting up the All Time Low CD I impulse purhcased over the weekend. When I say vomiting, they can actually write a better whiny emo song than most. Maybe it's the hair. At least, that's what all their copycat bands seem to think it is.

Oh, but I got Brandon's new album. I'm gonna see him now--It's a loyalty thing I can't seem to shake. I wanted to see The Antlers--I saw them in June--but it was 18+. Again. Why is it 18+? it's so unfair.

It felt like summer again--yay, I'm slightly happier and feel free! Today the weather got to eighty degrees or around there and I got to wear shorts in the afternoon. Not at school sadly. It's freezing when I wake up anyway. My lunch table was stupid again and we didn't sit outside. I guess it's not my choice. I choose to sit with them, I sit where they sit, but it was so nice outside. They also talked about how certain phones suit certain genders and some peoples' 8th grade English teacher. Again. I need a new lunch table.

I'm not sure what there is to say about school, but that's all that's really going on, so I suppose I'm obliged to. A few days ago I somehow gave myself a headache from yawning so much. I didn't know that was possible--hey, turns out it is. I got to miss half of Spanish, which was great because I'm growing to hate Spanish. Oh yes, that's something else entirely--I regret Spanish. I was gonna take German because I'm so bad at Spanish, but then I figured German would be much the same, except with three articles and a lot more unpronounceable words. So, Spanish it was. Turns out, not a good idea. While my quizzes are going okay, I guess, I keep humiliating myself because we keep playing games and going in the language lab(which is a vile thing, regardless of language or teacher) and I can never do anything right. It kinda sucks. I'm gonna switch to German next year. I'm sick of being told German isn't as useful as Spanish. I just generally hate the idea that another language is useful. It isn't. Less so as we get older than now, even. That's not to say another language shouldn't be learned. Of course it should! The usefulness thing, though, that's not the point--it's all about culture. You just don't realise that when you start age eleven. So yeah, I'll learn German instead, although it seems to happen all the emo kids are in German. Not sure why. If I do German next year I'll be in a class of emo freshman, I would imagine. Joy of joys.

Gym class. Gym class. It's a love/hate relationship. I was actually forced into running yesterday and then we did the most humiliating games. First this clapping and naming things game, which I lose virtually every time. And then this game where everyone has to run under a jump rope(increasing sets of tasks once that's done) and if you do it wrong, everyone starts it again. You know me, I'm always the one to run at the wrong time, conjugate the simple verbs incorrectly, or write the answers in science in letters rather than numbers. I am that person. And it doesn't help having the weight of 36 people on my shoulders. My stupid brain. Hell, how is there any point to that game? To humiliate me? To be given sneering looks from other girls in the class and laughs from the guys? That's supposed to help with the self esteem crap and have fun and make us participate as a team as opposed to shout at each other? There's a flaw in that logic. The good thing is, we're supposedly working so badly as a team, that they might split up our two classes meaning my class of like eighteen. All my friends included. Aha, yes--that would be heavenly. Probably not gonna happen, but I can hope.

today was picture day. Not much going on there. A half hour out of classes, hoorah!

Tomorrow I have both a Spanish and a Geometry quiz. We're doing statements and conditionals in geometry, it's good because it barely appears mathematical. On the contrary, science appears very mathematical at the moment, I'm so done with physical science when I get the chance. No, biology all the way, no matter what my family keeps doing. But today in science we got off to a tangent about astronomy and velocity and gravity and stuff and no one started rolling their eyes or anything. Like, it was in complete seriousness. I have the greatest science class ever. Like in the mornings, I'm normally the second outside my class and eventually it becomings a coming and going of like fifteen people. Which is great fun, because I'm normally so quiet most of the day, it's nice to get out there the slightest bit for a little while. Today I was talking to three or four people in my Science class, one in my Spanish, one at lunch, and some friends of acquaintances. I don't know why I love those mornings so much-but I do.

Mockingjay is the most overrated book imaginable. come on, I could have written that. Oh wait, I'm too realistic to write a character as pathetically fake as Katniss, I think. And the plot isn't even interesting, like the first two. Come on. And stop patronizing me, author--Yes, I do know about war, thank you very much. Your stupid post-apocalyptic nonsense didn't clear anything up. One star. Wonderful.

"The birds and the bees, have all caught STDs". Just thought I should mention that. LYRICS OF THE YEAR. Nice one, Mystery Jets.

I didn't have that much to do today, but I did have piano and I have studying. Bye blog

- Naomi