hello
It took me forever to understand why everyone was so into Best Coast, but now i do, and I love this song.
It’s Monday and depressing as hell because I had the most perfect thanksgiving break I’ve ever had, and I slept so much. 12 hours a night. For this reason, I don’t suppose there’s an awful lot to report. I also wrote loads, caught up on Nanowrimo, which I pretty much cannot wait to end, listened to the yellow/green/blue Dear Hunter EPs a lot (all superior, astonishingly, to the black/red/orange record, which I loved). And I made a lot of english pancakes.
Was reminded on Thursday of both the good and bad aspects of being a non-Thanksgiving celebrator. First, like I’ve mentioned repeatedly, you feel isolated and everything’s all peaceful and strange. But you also realize that there’s kind of not a lot to do. I did go for a walk, it was very warm and I spent ages outside, which I haven’t got the chance to do in too long. Once that awful afternoon sluggishness goes away, it’s very very nice and I got to eat salmon and try to rewatch Dead Poets Society (I don’t know why—I don’t like it very much, but it’s just that sort of mood) while my dad sent electric drills through the front door for a good four hours. Yeah.
I didn’t go black Friday shopping. I never have, for all the reasons most people don’t go black Friday shopping, number one being oh my god all the people. All the crazy, manic people. And imagine being one of those few people who inevitably gets trampled to death during all of this? You just think you’re going out for a cheap iPad and that’s the last thing you do in your life? Morbid, slightly, but mostly just weird. At least, I didn’t go out shopping in the early hours of the morning. I did do so in the afternoon, I wanted to look at possible DVDs I could get for Christmas. I love watching movies on christmas day but at the moment I’m totally out of ideas. I’m not opposed to doing that teen Disney nostalgia thing where I ask for every single Disney movie I never watched or ‘got’ as I child, to be perfectly honest. But still, any other movie ideas are appreciated, if you’re willing to give any. I see pitifully few movies, so I’m basically up for anything. I feel stupidly obliged to watch some ‘classics’ more than anything else. If only I knew what those classics were. I rewatched Submarine a few days ago and anything similar would be appreciated. I went looking for the Submarine book a few days ago with no luck. Speaking of other movies, my favorite movie when I was about 8 was the musical version of Oliver Twist from the 60s. I was, uh, disappointed with how it shaped up now. I still really love a couple of the songs, but a great deal of it was very middle-of-the-road.
I was pretty miserable on Saturday, but I can't for the life of me remember why. One of those things. My dad made me go shopping for my mom’s birthday. He rushes through anything and I can never find anything good. It was fun in the evening, though. And the mall's just getting its Christmas vibes and everything seemed nice and warm. I got my mom a DVD. In the evening I watched Submarine (should start keeping track of how many times I do this) with some friends; it was their first time. For the most part, they seemed to like it. The following day I did all the homework I say I’d leave to do over the weekend, celebrated my mom’s birthday, and went shopping in the evening for candles with my mom, and drove around the town looking at christmas lights.
I’m still exhausted and today was nothing special, or good. I was given a book to read for English. It’s called A Lesson Before Dying, and it’s by Ernest Gaines. I don’t like very much so far. It sounds rather melodramatic, and I don’t find it very compelling to read. Shame. We also read a picture book, in pairs. I think my partner may hate me. The book was supposed to be about the dangers of conformity. It was called “The Bear That Wasn’t” and I didn’t know what to think. My teacher's a funny person. Have I mentioned she gives 20-minutes lectures on how she doesn’t talk much and wants to leave us to our own devices for most of the class? Yeah. Bio was awful, seeing as I feel asleep during a lecture and then had to participate in a group activity that involved blowing through a straw into a pink liquid which just happened to be an irritant. And the straw was about two inches long and I got the stuff all of me and, god, not pleasant. I also got the
highest grade on a math quiz and English quiz.
Two days of nanowrimo left and things are looking up. Also, I uploaded the Submarine soundtrack to my ipod, and it is perfect. Excuse the either frustratingly or refreshingly short post. I think I write too many lengthy posts here, but a couple of people have told me otherwise, god knows why. Anyway.
Showing posts with label autumn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autumn. Show all posts
Monday, November 28, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
almost half way through october
And it doesn't really feel like autumn! Well, kind of. It just started now. More specifically, it feels Halloween-like. Man, I love Halloween. Today I was reading an article about like teenage girls getting exorcisms, specifically how the popularity of the concept reflects society’s misogynistic distrust of women’s losses of innocence, at which point eyebrows were raised. All the same, I love typical spooky things. Except Ouija boards. God, to the person at the party who surreptitiously moves the Ouija board and then screams a second later—I don’t like you.
Apart from that, October can usually be summarized neatly in me moping around waiting for NaNoWriMo inspiration to strike (it rarely does). I reckon things are going better than last year, where most of my thoughts came from looking out of windows at lunch, listening to the Antlers, and reading this god awful Mark Z Danielewski book that for some reason I was really into at the time. I could be all oh-ugh-I-was-so-stupid-last-year, but I don’t think I’m much better this year. Any ideas I have come from melodramatic guitar music, tumblr photos, and wanting to spend most of my time being a moody fuck hanging around at the Jack Kerouac memorial in Lowell. Oh what it is to be a teenage writer.
For lack of a better way of moving on from this, here’s a song by Sonic Youth.
I only know this and Kool Thing by them. I haven’t listened to anything by them at all in three or four years, and they sound way more impressive to me now. I just don’t really know where to start with them, they have so many albums. Should go out and buy something when I have the chance. I don't know how to spend my free time, though. Last weekend was a long weekend, and though I went apple picking and stuff, I wasted all of Monday and then went for a walk.
Nothing out of the ordinary this school week. I’ve been unreasonably tired, though i suspect I’m just catching up from last week where I got five hours of sleep a night and worked relentlessly between these times. Today should’ve been an easier week, few big tests and a day off on Monday and all. Didn’t quite work out that way. Turns out already reading Gatsby just means that I’m just incredibly bored during class. I’ve had John Green run through a lot of this anyway, and much faster. Still, it’s a good chance to reread a book I like a lot. From one spectrum to another, all we do in that class is listen to lectures—gone are the days of spending a whole period coloring pictures to represent metaphors. Now it just goes on and on and on about not a whole lot. We’re writing a bit, though, so I can’t really complain.
Had my first big disappointing grade in algebra this week. I’m still doing okay, though, so no matter. They were silly mistakes. I don’t actually mind silly mistakes, as it means I know that I really do still have a grip on things. Lately we get to color graphs! Back in 8th grade, where we officially did algebra for the first time (though I’d done some before—my parents were more pushy in 5th grade), the notion of doing sophomore algebra would’ve paralyzed me with fear. I think 8th grade me would been very confused by the way things have been panning out so far. I think generally more people should just tell 8th grade me to calm down about things.
Though my 20th century teacher’s been going on about it since day two of school, we’ve finally been assigned out first research paper. The topics looked tedious, but I’m doing something about foreign policy now that I don’t really have any solid opinions on yet. He gave us a bunch of time to research, though, and plan. In its current state, my plan’s elaborate but hopelessly messy. The first draft’s due Wednesday, so I reckon it’s gonna be one of those weekends. Usually I relish that chance to waste a whole period doing online research for essays, but we’ve been given strict guidelines for where we can look and god I’m sick to death of all things scholarly at the moment. I’m sort of obliged to semi-interact with these two girls, one I like, the other spends most of her time scanning dense books about communism and vocalizing most of the discoveries she makes. I’ve done very, very little so far. It’s pathetic. And daunting. Definitely daunting, yeah. Everyone’s further ahead. No matter, I suppose—sleep loss on a Saturday never stopped me before. And now we’re just talking about war, and opinions on this I‘m afraid can make or break my feelings of the class and my classmates for me. We’ve only done brief summaries so far, and in that the D day summary bothered me, but the IRA-England thing was handled with very little bias so I was impressed. Still, I don’t wanna talk about war.
Because writing a seven page essay can never exist without any other added layers of chaos, I’ve been assigned another bio project this week. Also, had to do another la. We’re led by this girl who, after seeing me create a model for a protein with its 280 amino acids placed in order, now thinks I’m incredibly Smart and Academic and Into Science. While I did find a weird sort of enjoyment in doing the amino acid chain, it’s indicative of me not knowing how to use my time properly rather than anything actually, you know, good. I was her prime consultant when it came to testing bacteria colony counts. Interestingly, our results on the procedure were exactly the opposite of what we would have expected to happen. Also, not to endlessly go on about this girl, cause I didn’t really dislike her or anything, but she doesn’t try to disguise her sucking up to our teacher, so our group is always talking to the teacher and staying in class after the bell rings and what have you. I don’t think my teacher is fooled, though I have had a very bad record of trying to get and stay on the good side of teacher, so I don’t suppose I’d know.
Now I’ve three days to come to cohesive opinion on foreign policy, so that’s it fo
Apart from that, October can usually be summarized neatly in me moping around waiting for NaNoWriMo inspiration to strike (it rarely does). I reckon things are going better than last year, where most of my thoughts came from looking out of windows at lunch, listening to the Antlers, and reading this god awful Mark Z Danielewski book that for some reason I was really into at the time. I could be all oh-ugh-I-was-so-stupid-last-year, but I don’t think I’m much better this year. Any ideas I have come from melodramatic guitar music, tumblr photos, and wanting to spend most of my time being a moody fuck hanging around at the Jack Kerouac memorial in Lowell. Oh what it is to be a teenage writer.
For lack of a better way of moving on from this, here’s a song by Sonic Youth.
I only know this and Kool Thing by them. I haven’t listened to anything by them at all in three or four years, and they sound way more impressive to me now. I just don’t really know where to start with them, they have so many albums. Should go out and buy something when I have the chance. I don't know how to spend my free time, though. Last weekend was a long weekend, and though I went apple picking and stuff, I wasted all of Monday and then went for a walk.
Nothing out of the ordinary this school week. I’ve been unreasonably tired, though i suspect I’m just catching up from last week where I got five hours of sleep a night and worked relentlessly between these times. Today should’ve been an easier week, few big tests and a day off on Monday and all. Didn’t quite work out that way. Turns out already reading Gatsby just means that I’m just incredibly bored during class. I’ve had John Green run through a lot of this anyway, and much faster. Still, it’s a good chance to reread a book I like a lot. From one spectrum to another, all we do in that class is listen to lectures—gone are the days of spending a whole period coloring pictures to represent metaphors. Now it just goes on and on and on about not a whole lot. We’re writing a bit, though, so I can’t really complain.
Had my first big disappointing grade in algebra this week. I’m still doing okay, though, so no matter. They were silly mistakes. I don’t actually mind silly mistakes, as it means I know that I really do still have a grip on things. Lately we get to color graphs! Back in 8th grade, where we officially did algebra for the first time (though I’d done some before—my parents were more pushy in 5th grade), the notion of doing sophomore algebra would’ve paralyzed me with fear. I think 8th grade me would been very confused by the way things have been panning out so far. I think generally more people should just tell 8th grade me to calm down about things.
Though my 20th century teacher’s been going on about it since day two of school, we’ve finally been assigned out first research paper. The topics looked tedious, but I’m doing something about foreign policy now that I don’t really have any solid opinions on yet. He gave us a bunch of time to research, though, and plan. In its current state, my plan’s elaborate but hopelessly messy. The first draft’s due Wednesday, so I reckon it’s gonna be one of those weekends. Usually I relish that chance to waste a whole period doing online research for essays, but we’ve been given strict guidelines for where we can look and god I’m sick to death of all things scholarly at the moment. I’m sort of obliged to semi-interact with these two girls, one I like, the other spends most of her time scanning dense books about communism and vocalizing most of the discoveries she makes. I’ve done very, very little so far. It’s pathetic. And daunting. Definitely daunting, yeah. Everyone’s further ahead. No matter, I suppose—sleep loss on a Saturday never stopped me before. And now we’re just talking about war, and opinions on this I‘m afraid can make or break my feelings of the class and my classmates for me. We’ve only done brief summaries so far, and in that the D day summary bothered me, but the IRA-England thing was handled with very little bias so I was impressed. Still, I don’t wanna talk about war.
Because writing a seven page essay can never exist without any other added layers of chaos, I’ve been assigned another bio project this week. Also, had to do another la. We’re led by this girl who, after seeing me create a model for a protein with its 280 amino acids placed in order, now thinks I’m incredibly Smart and Academic and Into Science. While I did find a weird sort of enjoyment in doing the amino acid chain, it’s indicative of me not knowing how to use my time properly rather than anything actually, you know, good. I was her prime consultant when it came to testing bacteria colony counts. Interestingly, our results on the procedure were exactly the opposite of what we would have expected to happen. Also, not to endlessly go on about this girl, cause I didn’t really dislike her or anything, but she doesn’t try to disguise her sucking up to our teacher, so our group is always talking to the teacher and staying in class after the bell rings and what have you. I don’t think my teacher is fooled, though I have had a very bad record of trying to get and stay on the good side of teacher, so I don’t suppose I’d know.
Now I’ve three days to come to cohesive opinion on foreign policy, so that’s it fo
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I'm In Jedward, Fuck You
I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but I had an awesome day. It's actually pretty fun when everyone else is around you celebrating something and you're not. It's like you're in your own little world. I went for a walk. It's a spot by a river that I went to like every other day in summer, but I haven't been in months. It looks totally different of course, but still, very beautiful.
Today felt very autumnal. What's that you say? The internet's autumngasm happened in the middle of September? Oh, well I don't care. I tend not to get as deranged as some do about autumn(everyone's like "HALLOWEEN LEAVES HOODIES FOOTBALL THANKSGIVING BLAH BLAH BLAH' and I'm like "Jesus. Calm down.") but I've enjoyed autumn so far. Yeah. I fished out my camera the other day, and realised I haven't taken pictures in forever, and now I need to use up my yearly dose of folksy photos. Yay. Autumn's cool.
Also, like I said last time or the time before, my mother spent the week in England and she came back yesterday. Most people come back from England with t-shirts and teddy bears, all covered in union flafs. I got two NME's and a Pulled Apart By Horses CD. Had a rather lovely afternoon today delving into those. Everyone I know can't stand PABH, and admittedly the album is a bit all over the place, but, come on, High Dive Swan Dive Nose Dive? That's a fantastic song!
I've yet to see Harry Potter. There were some plans tossed around, but I'm gonna have to wait until Saturday. I might see it twice this weekend, who knows? I can't wait. Last weekend I saw our school play, Rent, and it was freakin brilliant. My Broadway knowledge is pathetically nothingy for a teenage girl, and the use of Angel as comic relief rather than a genuine person bothered me, but the songs were generally cool and our school's actors rocked. I'm seeing Brandon Flowers tomorrow, as mentioned I'm seeing HP, and maybe maybe maybe eating out or going to the mall. I looooove weekends. Especially long weekends. And it's my mom's birthday saturday.
NaNoWriMo is a pain but, yes, I am nearly there. I realised I'm just over half way through my story, though. But I'm going to count reaching 50K as a success anyway. Writing took three very distracted hours last night! Gosh! I don't have that kind of time today, though. By the way, I'm the only person in my study with homework. Everyone else has nice teachers. I have math notes to do, and then science notes, and a science review packet. Like, wow, not fair.
Oh yeah, pep rally on Wednesday. Not a hell of a lot to be said. Terms sch as 'Pep Rally' increase my general disdain for this country. There was a limbo contest and the competitors were basically all these really tall senior guys, and Kevin--'Minnie Allan'--who is in my study, and who I went for like a week thinking he was some sort of prodigy because he looks half his fourteen years. Everyone went crazy for him, and it was actually slightly cool. He should be our school mascot, as opposed to the guy in the eagle costume running around the gym.
I got a 102% on a math test. Highest grade in the class by a half percent, hell yes, I am pleased. Just had to say that. Meanwhile in science I'm bust not understanding magnets, and working on a research paper. I've mentioned this before, but now I have a topic; stars. Indeed. I was put with the only other person in the class who doesn't have a partner. I like genetics and microbiology. He likes geology and mechanics. Therefore we go to stars, because everyone likes stuff about space. I'm gonna try to hard on this, because the project is huge and I'm doing badly so far this term. I do well at informative writing things, I find. And I've started research early!
All the language classes at school watched the Namesake this week. Rather...bad, I must say. "I detest American television". Excuse me, what? I mean, yes, sitcoms and car ads and melodrama are pretty high up on the big old list of things I dislike, but I might say "I hate American TV". Not that I'd say that in front of strangers, or anyone would, English or not. It's an interesting reflection on things that one can make a movie criticising stereotypes on Indian people(and FYI, this was not exactly achieved in the Namesake) while showing that the stereotypes of an ignorant, angry, narcissistic Brit and at one point a sexy, sensual Parisian are totally fine. Weird, isn't it? They're different types of stereotypes, yes, but...still. Just a thought.
I'm in an Elbow phase and I'm acting like it's Christmas. Have you heard Great Expectations? My God. So beautiful. I feel strangely more connected to music than I normally do, at the moment. I love music, yes, but I'm going crazy with it at the moment. Something in the air, I dunno. I wanna listen to Elbow and Twin Shadow and Cloud Cult all day every day at the moment. I wish I had Guy Garvey's brain.
Oh, speaking of wishing I had various people's brains, today is the big Day; Peep Show Day. I saw a clip from the new episode and it's effing fantastic. Somebody better get those onto YouTube very quickly, or I will have to delve even further into illegality to watch them. Nothing gets between me and Mark Corrigan. NOTHING. Hear me? The only thing to tide me over today is new Buzzcocks. I will admit the new series is sort of...terrible compared to the Amstell Days but I think Noel's a pretty cool guy, and I watched the whole Jedward episode last night and I loved it. "I'm in Jedward, fuck you". Teeeehheeeheee Buzzcocks <3
I have rather a lot to get done today. Bye.
Today felt very autumnal. What's that you say? The internet's autumngasm happened in the middle of September? Oh, well I don't care. I tend not to get as deranged as some do about autumn(everyone's like "HALLOWEEN LEAVES HOODIES FOOTBALL THANKSGIVING BLAH BLAH BLAH' and I'm like "Jesus. Calm down.") but I've enjoyed autumn so far. Yeah. I fished out my camera the other day, and realised I haven't taken pictures in forever, and now I need to use up my yearly dose of folksy photos. Yay. Autumn's cool.
Also, like I said last time or the time before, my mother spent the week in England and she came back yesterday. Most people come back from England with t-shirts and teddy bears, all covered in union flafs. I got two NME's and a Pulled Apart By Horses CD. Had a rather lovely afternoon today delving into those. Everyone I know can't stand PABH, and admittedly the album is a bit all over the place, but, come on, High Dive Swan Dive Nose Dive? That's a fantastic song!
I've yet to see Harry Potter. There were some plans tossed around, but I'm gonna have to wait until Saturday. I might see it twice this weekend, who knows? I can't wait. Last weekend I saw our school play, Rent, and it was freakin brilliant. My Broadway knowledge is pathetically nothingy for a teenage girl, and the use of Angel as comic relief rather than a genuine person bothered me, but the songs were generally cool and our school's actors rocked. I'm seeing Brandon Flowers tomorrow, as mentioned I'm seeing HP, and maybe maybe maybe eating out or going to the mall. I looooove weekends. Especially long weekends. And it's my mom's birthday saturday.
NaNoWriMo is a pain but, yes, I am nearly there. I realised I'm just over half way through my story, though. But I'm going to count reaching 50K as a success anyway. Writing took three very distracted hours last night! Gosh! I don't have that kind of time today, though. By the way, I'm the only person in my study with homework. Everyone else has nice teachers. I have math notes to do, and then science notes, and a science review packet. Like, wow, not fair.
Oh yeah, pep rally on Wednesday. Not a hell of a lot to be said. Terms sch as 'Pep Rally' increase my general disdain for this country. There was a limbo contest and the competitors were basically all these really tall senior guys, and Kevin--'Minnie Allan'--who is in my study, and who I went for like a week thinking he was some sort of prodigy because he looks half his fourteen years. Everyone went crazy for him, and it was actually slightly cool. He should be our school mascot, as opposed to the guy in the eagle costume running around the gym.
I got a 102% on a math test. Highest grade in the class by a half percent, hell yes, I am pleased. Just had to say that. Meanwhile in science I'm bust not understanding magnets, and working on a research paper. I've mentioned this before, but now I have a topic; stars. Indeed. I was put with the only other person in the class who doesn't have a partner. I like genetics and microbiology. He likes geology and mechanics. Therefore we go to stars, because everyone likes stuff about space. I'm gonna try to hard on this, because the project is huge and I'm doing badly so far this term. I do well at informative writing things, I find. And I've started research early!
All the language classes at school watched the Namesake this week. Rather...bad, I must say. "I detest American television". Excuse me, what? I mean, yes, sitcoms and car ads and melodrama are pretty high up on the big old list of things I dislike, but I might say "I hate American TV". Not that I'd say that in front of strangers, or anyone would, English or not. It's an interesting reflection on things that one can make a movie criticising stereotypes on Indian people(and FYI, this was not exactly achieved in the Namesake) while showing that the stereotypes of an ignorant, angry, narcissistic Brit and at one point a sexy, sensual Parisian are totally fine. Weird, isn't it? They're different types of stereotypes, yes, but...still. Just a thought.
I'm in an Elbow phase and I'm acting like it's Christmas. Have you heard Great Expectations? My God. So beautiful. I feel strangely more connected to music than I normally do, at the moment. I love music, yes, but I'm going crazy with it at the moment. Something in the air, I dunno. I wanna listen to Elbow and Twin Shadow and Cloud Cult all day every day at the moment. I wish I had Guy Garvey's brain.
Oh, speaking of wishing I had various people's brains, today is the big Day; Peep Show Day. I saw a clip from the new episode and it's effing fantastic. Somebody better get those onto YouTube very quickly, or I will have to delve even further into illegality to watch them. Nothing gets between me and Mark Corrigan. NOTHING. Hear me? The only thing to tide me over today is new Buzzcocks. I will admit the new series is sort of...terrible compared to the Amstell Days but I think Noel's a pretty cool guy, and I watched the whole Jedward episode last night and I loved it. "I'm in Jedward, fuck you". Teeeehheeeheee Buzzcocks <3
I have rather a lot to get done today. Bye.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
October 7th, 2010
Hello blog.
I'm sorry it's been a month and a bit and I've only done ten posts. I feel kinda guilty, like somehow I should feel guilty because of my blog of all things. I used to post every three days. Now I'm averaging five. I just feel like that isn't properly recording what I wanna record, you know? Sigh.
Not that there's a whole heck of a lot to report. Life at the moment? The leaves are falling, I have a love/hate relationship with gym, I'm going to a Halloween-themed theme park thing with friends tomorrow, I've become such a Shooting Stars addict that I've been watching some stuff from series 1 online, I'm gonna see Weezer in December, and I like sitting in hallways in the morning reading books and unintentionally staring at people.
Overall, not too bad. On the Weezer note, I dunno if you heard about the way they're touring, but I'm seeing them the day they're playing the Blue Album. Not a huge Pinkerton fan, me. And I'm not actually getting Hurley. I just thought they'd be fun to see.
Autumn's so short here that I really need to get into the spirit, like, now, because this is Massachusetts and for all I know we could have two feet of snow tomorrow. That'd really suck. I haven't really gotten the chance to enjoy it. My favorite thing about autumn is going for walks but I can't. Homework. High school hates people being happy, right? Silly high school. But October's a really great month. I loooooooooove October.
School's been up and down this week! I had such a great gym class today. Next week we're going outside to do these kinda, I don't know, adventure courses. Walking on planks of wood, zip lines, that sort of thing. To prepare for it we've had to do a lot of trust exercises. It's as stupid as it sounds. I will never trust all seventeen other people in my class. I do not even come close to liking several of them. So trust is kinda dumb, but hey, it's not actual sports which sometimes is all I can ask for. We did trust falls on Tuesday, and today we did trust falls off the bleachers in the gym. Your feet are probably about seven feet off the ground from the top of the bleachers. below you, said seventeen other kids holding their hands out criss-crossed with the people opposite them, kinda cheering you on as you stand there, wishing they'd just stop because you can't stand the attention. The drop's the easy bit. I'm not really scared of heights or falling anyway. Your heart kinda sinks as it does, and it is quite possible I started flailing my hands in the air although I can't really remember, and then you're awkwardly being held by a dozen of your classmates. Rather more exhilarating than I've found this Team Work shtick so far this year. Going out into the woods Monday. With this so-called new lease of 'trust' in my peers, will I be able to do whatever horrors are set forward? Who knows.
That being said, the logic problems they give us are pretty humiliating. It's a thing where you're "in" when you get them, and mocked by the "in" while you're out. I'm always the last to get them. And by get them, I mean be told by someone whilst in the locker room. I'm not a moron, sort of, though I wouldn't say I'm smart either. Guess it's just not my sort of logic. But the fact that I'm being publicly humiliated, feel embarrassed, and start to hate myself when the class is over...what's the point of that? Usually the psychology behind most of these games are pretty simple, but this. What kind of mind games are they trying to pull? Honestly, I'm seeing no benefits.
Geometry we had our little party on Monday. Had cake. Felt a bit baffled at the confusion of our relatively simple chapter we've been working on and why we had to do extra review. Took a look at our test today, and mentally ran through my list of "I'm really pissed off now" vocabulary. How dare she give us a proof worth eight points! Not a single person in the class can do proofs! And I know I got zero points 'cause I somehow ended up talking about a parallelogram and there's no doubt in my mind that that was a mile away from where I was supposed to be, So, pretty much screwed up the third test, the one I thought was simple. It's just slope and theorems, right? Wrong. That test was evil. I didn't even have TIME for the bonus questions, let alone racking my brains for answers! Anyway. I got new seats and I'm with a girl who has labelled me a superhero, and another that has declared that I don't talk much because when I talk, world disasters happen.
I will never know about science until the day of a test. I have one tomorrow. Could potentially be a disaster or rather fantastic. Who knows, right? Stupid Newton, he's really annoying. I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow, too. Know the ideas, though not all the vocab, and not enough time to really understand it. Uuuuugh. Good news is, I'm getting better at Spanish. I'm near kids of a similar level, and all we've been doing this week is busy work and practising skits. Presented those today, too. Was the only one in my group who knew all the lines, and I was the one who was mocked for lack of emotion. A bit unfair.
Today coming home the person I feel obligated to sit next to just 'cause, was elsewhere so I got the whole seat and it almost looked really warm outside. So bright. The bus was nearly empty. I'm just saying. And such a light homework load. Musing over logic problems and gravity. Easy day.
I'm getting back into the swing of piano. I'm just saying, thank you Tim Minchin. the sort of obsession one is allowed to feel for a musician would be considered weird for just about anybody else. And by musician, I mean 'normal' musician. Sorry Tim. People would think I'm weird for how much I like Tim Minchin. Who cares? I was listening to a few of his songs earlier, then I went back to practice my much much simpler little pieces and just kinda had a new energy for the way I was playing. I was playing badly, not that Tim does obviously, but I was having so much fun. Tim is basically awesome, though of course you already knew it.
And I bought an Arcade Fire CD. Again, just saying.
I do not honestly know why I don't want these paragraphs to flow anymore.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
Right, now I just sound ridiculous.
LAST THING; NaNo update; nothing to report. Not good! I can come up with characters. Really dumb, cliched, cookie-cutter characters, but characters nonetheless. I have some stupid plots. No good plots. I've been writing stuff out, hoping that something will kinda pop out. Again, stupid things. I've another three weeks to have that brilliantly revolutionary literary idea pop into my head.
That, or I'm copying Mark Danielewski. Ideas?
Past tenses and forces await studying, friends. Night.
- Naomi
I'm sorry it's been a month and a bit and I've only done ten posts. I feel kinda guilty, like somehow I should feel guilty because of my blog of all things. I used to post every three days. Now I'm averaging five. I just feel like that isn't properly recording what I wanna record, you know? Sigh.
Not that there's a whole heck of a lot to report. Life at the moment? The leaves are falling, I have a love/hate relationship with gym, I'm going to a Halloween-themed theme park thing with friends tomorrow, I've become such a Shooting Stars addict that I've been watching some stuff from series 1 online, I'm gonna see Weezer in December, and I like sitting in hallways in the morning reading books and unintentionally staring at people.
Overall, not too bad. On the Weezer note, I dunno if you heard about the way they're touring, but I'm seeing them the day they're playing the Blue Album. Not a huge Pinkerton fan, me. And I'm not actually getting Hurley. I just thought they'd be fun to see.
Autumn's so short here that I really need to get into the spirit, like, now, because this is Massachusetts and for all I know we could have two feet of snow tomorrow. That'd really suck. I haven't really gotten the chance to enjoy it. My favorite thing about autumn is going for walks but I can't. Homework. High school hates people being happy, right? Silly high school. But October's a really great month. I loooooooooove October.
School's been up and down this week! I had such a great gym class today. Next week we're going outside to do these kinda, I don't know, adventure courses. Walking on planks of wood, zip lines, that sort of thing. To prepare for it we've had to do a lot of trust exercises. It's as stupid as it sounds. I will never trust all seventeen other people in my class. I do not even come close to liking several of them. So trust is kinda dumb, but hey, it's not actual sports which sometimes is all I can ask for. We did trust falls on Tuesday, and today we did trust falls off the bleachers in the gym. Your feet are probably about seven feet off the ground from the top of the bleachers. below you, said seventeen other kids holding their hands out criss-crossed with the people opposite them, kinda cheering you on as you stand there, wishing they'd just stop because you can't stand the attention. The drop's the easy bit. I'm not really scared of heights or falling anyway. Your heart kinda sinks as it does, and it is quite possible I started flailing my hands in the air although I can't really remember, and then you're awkwardly being held by a dozen of your classmates. Rather more exhilarating than I've found this Team Work shtick so far this year. Going out into the woods Monday. With this so-called new lease of 'trust' in my peers, will I be able to do whatever horrors are set forward? Who knows.
That being said, the logic problems they give us are pretty humiliating. It's a thing where you're "in" when you get them, and mocked by the "in" while you're out. I'm always the last to get them. And by get them, I mean be told by someone whilst in the locker room. I'm not a moron, sort of, though I wouldn't say I'm smart either. Guess it's just not my sort of logic. But the fact that I'm being publicly humiliated, feel embarrassed, and start to hate myself when the class is over...what's the point of that? Usually the psychology behind most of these games are pretty simple, but this. What kind of mind games are they trying to pull? Honestly, I'm seeing no benefits.
Geometry we had our little party on Monday. Had cake. Felt a bit baffled at the confusion of our relatively simple chapter we've been working on and why we had to do extra review. Took a look at our test today, and mentally ran through my list of "I'm really pissed off now" vocabulary. How dare she give us a proof worth eight points! Not a single person in the class can do proofs! And I know I got zero points 'cause I somehow ended up talking about a parallelogram and there's no doubt in my mind that that was a mile away from where I was supposed to be, So, pretty much screwed up the third test, the one I thought was simple. It's just slope and theorems, right? Wrong. That test was evil. I didn't even have TIME for the bonus questions, let alone racking my brains for answers! Anyway. I got new seats and I'm with a girl who has labelled me a superhero, and another that has declared that I don't talk much because when I talk, world disasters happen.
I will never know about science until the day of a test. I have one tomorrow. Could potentially be a disaster or rather fantastic. Who knows, right? Stupid Newton, he's really annoying. I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow, too. Know the ideas, though not all the vocab, and not enough time to really understand it. Uuuuugh. Good news is, I'm getting better at Spanish. I'm near kids of a similar level, and all we've been doing this week is busy work and practising skits. Presented those today, too. Was the only one in my group who knew all the lines, and I was the one who was mocked for lack of emotion. A bit unfair.
Today coming home the person I feel obligated to sit next to just 'cause, was elsewhere so I got the whole seat and it almost looked really warm outside. So bright. The bus was nearly empty. I'm just saying. And such a light homework load. Musing over logic problems and gravity. Easy day.
I'm getting back into the swing of piano. I'm just saying, thank you Tim Minchin. the sort of obsession one is allowed to feel for a musician would be considered weird for just about anybody else. And by musician, I mean 'normal' musician. Sorry Tim. People would think I'm weird for how much I like Tim Minchin. Who cares? I was listening to a few of his songs earlier, then I went back to practice my much much simpler little pieces and just kinda had a new energy for the way I was playing. I was playing badly, not that Tim does obviously, but I was having so much fun. Tim is basically awesome, though of course you already knew it.
And I bought an Arcade Fire CD. Again, just saying.
I do not honestly know why I don't want these paragraphs to flow anymore.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
Right, now I just sound ridiculous.
LAST THING; NaNo update; nothing to report. Not good! I can come up with characters. Really dumb, cliched, cookie-cutter characters, but characters nonetheless. I have some stupid plots. No good plots. I've been writing stuff out, hoping that something will kinda pop out. Again, stupid things. I've another three weeks to have that brilliantly revolutionary literary idea pop into my head.
That, or I'm copying Mark Danielewski. Ideas?
Past tenses and forces await studying, friends. Night.
- Naomi
Saturday, October 2, 2010
October.
Hello world.
Blink and you miss September. At least that's the lesson I learned this year. Why is it October already? Goodness knows. I certainly don't.
I know it's a weird thing to start thinking on October 2nd, but I miss summer. I haven't really had time to think about that yet because every thing's been so chaotic getting used to a new school and all the work and everything, and it's only just now that the revelation is dawning that I miss summer. I do miss England. You will hear me say that a billion and one times and I'm sorry, I just do. I miss when you walk outside and you're just kinda hit with the heat. You can wear shorts. God I hate having to wear jeans and yeah I don't care if that sounds odd. all the memories from the summer and now I have to wake up at six every morning and I'm not done with work until like seven. Wow, it's a change.
Everybody knows autumn's fun because it's atmospheric in the most hipster-like sort of way. In that "ooh, look at the leaves, let's listen to some rubbish folk music" sorta way. And I like that, of course. It's worth mentioning how vital music was to me last autumn. Time to bring out the Joanna Newsom, Macabees, Pains of Being Pure At Heart. Sadly NME-hyped music at the moment is less Mumford more Tinie so whatevs, there goes that. I had a really great October last year, easily the best school month of the year. I just worry it won't be as great this year, as weird as that sounds. Although I've still got apple picking, Halloween, halloween parties, this theme park I'm going to, Florence, walks, et cetera to look forward to so it should work it fine.
However, this year I probably won't end up on a Saturday afternoon being fitted by my mom for a Brandon fFowers halloween costume while singing Madness songs. "Gts", as those annoying people say.
Had a good day. My guitar teacher cancelled so I had a slow morning and then in the afternoon there was this sort of party down one of the little roads/drives/whatever near where I live. You know, small roads. I love those sorts of social things(says the confused shy introvert). there was supposed to be like seventy people there but it was more like fifty and the majority of people were either over 40 years old or under 5 years old so I was pretty stuck. The weather stayed nice for most of the afternoon and I basically just hung around being awkward while my parents talked to people. it was nice seeing all the neighbors again. Great for the young kids, too. My sister painted a pumpkin. Everyone was talking about me in high school. They had a lot of food out, all autumn-themed if you can call it that, and I basically just ate far too many cookies and brownies and stuff. there was an ice cream van. Your classic blissful October day. when it got cold someone had a thing to light a fire and we all sat around it with beach chairs. It was really very awesome. Heres to October days.
Tomorrow will mostly be homework. I'm getting more into the habit of doing some weekend homework on Fridays and Saturdays which is good. The load isn't so bad this weekend. I need to get my head around some math, learn some Spanish stuff, finish a lab and answer some questions for Science. it's do-able. I'm probably also gonna hunt down The Suburbs. I'm getting the urge to do a sort of "Arcade Fire Are So Overrated!" ramble somewhere but I need to give the album an actual listen first.
Oh yeah, we got progress reports yesterday, except I didn't get my Spanish one for some reason. But A- on Geometry and Science which I suppose is pretty accurate, if not a little too good. I also found out I got a 65% on a math test. That's a D, ladies and gentlemen. I do not understand proofs and I never will.
I can't believe I haven't blogged the whole school week. Mostly things went well. Felt pestered by the universe half the time but that wasn't the fault of the classes. My parents met my teachers. They like them, I like them too. My Geometry teacher told my parents I "am a bit shy, but we are working on her". Really? That's so unfair. Because, geometry teacher, you are definitely the first teacher in my nine years of school to have noticed this, right? it's weird. I woulda thought we could let shy people just live like normal people and do their thing, but no, they have to be tormented by every single person who thinks being quiet somehow makes you inferior. Fuck that.
Other than my 65%, Geometry's going well and we're due for a spontaneous little party on Monday for some reason. Except one day this week the teacher embarassed me so much, it was mortifying, and then I could barely feel my arms and legs if that makes sense. Science I spent most of the week completely lost, took a look at our quiz which I got into such a state about and went 'oh. this is it?". Spanish is great, we've been writing scripts all week and I'm totally the kid in the group who does nothing so it's fun. I talk to the girl next to me most of the time. it's sort of friendship I sometimes encounter where we feel similar enough that we're obligated to talk yet are both perfectly aware a true friendship will never occur. We play games and do quizzes. The classes are slow. We're doing stuff in past tense. It's only my third verb tense and it's freakin' exciting, man.
I had a mostly gym week. We're doing trust exercises, or something, and we're still in our class of 18 and it's fun most of the time. Sometimes I'm embarassed but it's okay. Friday we played a couple of older classes in a four-way dodgeball game and one of the classes were testosterone-fueled seniors who like to shout a lot. it wasn't really fair but it's the sort of game where you can get away with doing nothing.
Homework's easier but it still takes a while. Mostly I just get home, blast the Pretty Reckless cause I seem to think I'm that cool, and struggle my way through math problems until I eat dinner, read, practice instruments, attempt to blog, and sleep. It works.
To be honest, for the most part my outside school life at the moment consists of me watching Shooting Stars and eating Pot Noodle. I get the feeling that's vintage, but I'm not sure it really works.
Oh yeah, FYI, I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. This is my second year. I did 40,000 words last year which was my goal and I succeeded although the story was basically a horrendous mashup of The Giver by Lois Lowry and what little meaning I extracted from reading 1984 as a thirteen-year-old. I really need to get planning at some point.
That My Chemical Romance song that I think is new and is called Na Na Na, or something, is quite spectacular. Even if you think you don't like MCR, please go listen. It puts Teenagers to shame.
Guess that's it, and yeah, I sound more tired than I am. Bye bye.
- Naomi
Blink and you miss September. At least that's the lesson I learned this year. Why is it October already? Goodness knows. I certainly don't.
I know it's a weird thing to start thinking on October 2nd, but I miss summer. I haven't really had time to think about that yet because every thing's been so chaotic getting used to a new school and all the work and everything, and it's only just now that the revelation is dawning that I miss summer. I do miss England. You will hear me say that a billion and one times and I'm sorry, I just do. I miss when you walk outside and you're just kinda hit with the heat. You can wear shorts. God I hate having to wear jeans and yeah I don't care if that sounds odd. all the memories from the summer and now I have to wake up at six every morning and I'm not done with work until like seven. Wow, it's a change.
Everybody knows autumn's fun because it's atmospheric in the most hipster-like sort of way. In that "ooh, look at the leaves, let's listen to some rubbish folk music" sorta way. And I like that, of course. It's worth mentioning how vital music was to me last autumn. Time to bring out the Joanna Newsom, Macabees, Pains of Being Pure At Heart. Sadly NME-hyped music at the moment is less Mumford more Tinie so whatevs, there goes that. I had a really great October last year, easily the best school month of the year. I just worry it won't be as great this year, as weird as that sounds. Although I've still got apple picking, Halloween, halloween parties, this theme park I'm going to, Florence, walks, et cetera to look forward to so it should work it fine.
However, this year I probably won't end up on a Saturday afternoon being fitted by my mom for a Brandon fFowers halloween costume while singing Madness songs. "Gts", as those annoying people say.
Had a good day. My guitar teacher cancelled so I had a slow morning and then in the afternoon there was this sort of party down one of the little roads/drives/whatever near where I live. You know, small roads. I love those sorts of social things(says the confused shy introvert). there was supposed to be like seventy people there but it was more like fifty and the majority of people were either over 40 years old or under 5 years old so I was pretty stuck. The weather stayed nice for most of the afternoon and I basically just hung around being awkward while my parents talked to people. it was nice seeing all the neighbors again. Great for the young kids, too. My sister painted a pumpkin. Everyone was talking about me in high school. They had a lot of food out, all autumn-themed if you can call it that, and I basically just ate far too many cookies and brownies and stuff. there was an ice cream van. Your classic blissful October day. when it got cold someone had a thing to light a fire and we all sat around it with beach chairs. It was really very awesome. Heres to October days.
Tomorrow will mostly be homework. I'm getting more into the habit of doing some weekend homework on Fridays and Saturdays which is good. The load isn't so bad this weekend. I need to get my head around some math, learn some Spanish stuff, finish a lab and answer some questions for Science. it's do-able. I'm probably also gonna hunt down The Suburbs. I'm getting the urge to do a sort of "Arcade Fire Are So Overrated!" ramble somewhere but I need to give the album an actual listen first.
Oh yeah, we got progress reports yesterday, except I didn't get my Spanish one for some reason. But A- on Geometry and Science which I suppose is pretty accurate, if not a little too good. I also found out I got a 65% on a math test. That's a D, ladies and gentlemen. I do not understand proofs and I never will.
I can't believe I haven't blogged the whole school week. Mostly things went well. Felt pestered by the universe half the time but that wasn't the fault of the classes. My parents met my teachers. They like them, I like them too. My Geometry teacher told my parents I "am a bit shy, but we are working on her". Really? That's so unfair. Because, geometry teacher, you are definitely the first teacher in my nine years of school to have noticed this, right? it's weird. I woulda thought we could let shy people just live like normal people and do their thing, but no, they have to be tormented by every single person who thinks being quiet somehow makes you inferior. Fuck that.
Other than my 65%, Geometry's going well and we're due for a spontaneous little party on Monday for some reason. Except one day this week the teacher embarassed me so much, it was mortifying, and then I could barely feel my arms and legs if that makes sense. Science I spent most of the week completely lost, took a look at our quiz which I got into such a state about and went 'oh. this is it?". Spanish is great, we've been writing scripts all week and I'm totally the kid in the group who does nothing so it's fun. I talk to the girl next to me most of the time. it's sort of friendship I sometimes encounter where we feel similar enough that we're obligated to talk yet are both perfectly aware a true friendship will never occur. We play games and do quizzes. The classes are slow. We're doing stuff in past tense. It's only my third verb tense and it's freakin' exciting, man.
I had a mostly gym week. We're doing trust exercises, or something, and we're still in our class of 18 and it's fun most of the time. Sometimes I'm embarassed but it's okay. Friday we played a couple of older classes in a four-way dodgeball game and one of the classes were testosterone-fueled seniors who like to shout a lot. it wasn't really fair but it's the sort of game where you can get away with doing nothing.
Homework's easier but it still takes a while. Mostly I just get home, blast the Pretty Reckless cause I seem to think I'm that cool, and struggle my way through math problems until I eat dinner, read, practice instruments, attempt to blog, and sleep. It works.
To be honest, for the most part my outside school life at the moment consists of me watching Shooting Stars and eating Pot Noodle. I get the feeling that's vintage, but I'm not sure it really works.
Oh yeah, FYI, I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. This is my second year. I did 40,000 words last year which was my goal and I succeeded although the story was basically a horrendous mashup of The Giver by Lois Lowry and what little meaning I extracted from reading 1984 as a thirteen-year-old. I really need to get planning at some point.
That My Chemical Romance song that I think is new and is called Na Na Na, or something, is quite spectacular. Even if you think you don't like MCR, please go listen. It puts Teenagers to shame.
Guess that's it, and yeah, I sound more tired than I am. Bye bye.
- Naomi
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Homework Has Made Me Go Peep Show Cold Turkey(Almost)!
Hello.
You know what I miss? Being bored. Having time. Doing nothing. All of that. I'm having a particularly difficult time with homework lately, I'm not sure why. Yes, everyone is sort of struggling with keeping up with its enormous amount, but I in particular seem to be having problems. In terms of time, especially. Okay, so I do sort of do homework on and off during the day, but still, it's not that bad and I started at 2:55, finished at about eight oclock. And I had study hall today! This. Is. Madness. In fact, forget that, this is unhealthy and ridiculous. Perhaps it's the fault of the classes. I could go into an easier class...but I don't think my self esteem could forgive me. It sounds silly but I couldn't live with that.
And this is why I'm on the verge of tears, losing my mind, panicking, and half considering giving up entirely. I cannot do this.
Hell, guess what, I was having a panic after I'd finished my HW, and my mum knows of my new obsession and how indulging it would help me feel better, she was like "Okay, we can watch an episode of Peep Show later". And do you know what I said? I said "I don't think I have time, but maybe". Becuse that is the truth. And when I, who can average four or five episodes of this show on a day on a weekend, cannot fit in one episode on a weekday because of homework, then you know something has gone seriously wrong. and it's very sad. I miss my daily Mark Corrigan fix. But more I miss the knowledge that that fix is a given--depdent on nothing.
Right now I'm gonna blog on both(both as in plural, yes--www.mykingdomforonelastdance.blogspot.com) blogs and listen to The National's High Violet with my big headphones. and it will help. I'm not exactly sure what Matt Berninger is singing about a lot of the time, but all I know is he seems pretty down, too, and he is a baritone so it is very comforting.
The ironic thing is, I may hate school when I'm a t home, but I like it when I'm there. Actually, I like it a lot. In some ways the classes are killing whatever self confidence I had before, but today I brought my iPod on the bus, I read my book in the both vile and relaxing experience that is lunch and my lunch table, only got slightly bored in physical science, found geometry moved easily and fast, and Spanish isn't half bad. I like the classes. It's kinda testing my introvetrtedness but it's easy to fight back, and waking up is a pain, but it pays off. I quite like my teachers. And study hall or gym at the end of the day. it's good. The only thing I'm seriously worried for is Wednesday without study hall, when I have piano, and I don't know what I'll do.
I have had no time for piano and I feel very upset, because I was moving so well with it last year. I can only blog some days. I can't spend time finding new bands online. I haven't had the chance to draw all week. I haven't done guitar in forever. Some days I can't even read. In these afternoons, I am a bt miserable.
Oh, I am a whiny teenager, aren't I?
Anyway, it doesn't help to have a crap week because I had such an amazingly relaxing weekend. Saturday I went to the mall with my family and Natalie's friend. It was mostly for the friend but the mall is the only thing of a very commercial nature(except some of the onternet, I suppose) that I can stomach right now and I haven't been in a while and it was really fun. I looked around the clothes shops but didn't buy. On an other note, it's getting weirder and weirder, mainstream fashion, sort of. Also, while I will never forgive FYE for not having Libs or Babyshambles or Peter Doherty(a February '10 obsession, FYI), I do give them credit for Jonsi and Freelance Whales. I've only had the chance for FW so far but what I've heard is profoundly beautiful. Give me twee lyrics any day, I don't care! Wire my heart to your synthesizers please. Your music is so beautiful. Also, I got a smoothie and got out of the house. Oh, and on Monday me and my mom went fruit picking I can't beleieve I don't do it more, it's one of my favorite activites, I guess you could say. it's great being out in the summer sun, picking rasberries, looking under peach trees, and then we got icecream and the farm is so...farmlike and so absolutely folksy and lovely. I'm in love with that place. The sun says it's still summer--so, in my book, it is.
One thing I've mixed feelings on. Could the stores please stop saying it's autumn? Because it. is. not. autumn. yet. I don't like autumn that much. Okay, I suppose there's something stunning and hypnotic about the leaves, halloween, the nice weather, fruit picking again, goingfor walks, all of that. Autumn was amazing for me last year. actually, what am I saying, I love autumn. Love it. But it's not summer. Only I can see something as beautiful as autumn and think "everything is...dying", right? It's just I can seriously barely handle the winter I hate it so much and from January, February, to March, I don't know what I'll do. it's a good thing it's only September.
The only other news is that I've spent the week opposing the common 21st century idea of 'feminism'. I really wanna discuss it so much but I'm done here. I haave organge juice, music, and the internet. In 8th grade I would say time to kill--now I would say time to savor. I hope next time I write here I'm in a better mood.
Until then!
- Naomi
You know what I miss? Being bored. Having time. Doing nothing. All of that. I'm having a particularly difficult time with homework lately, I'm not sure why. Yes, everyone is sort of struggling with keeping up with its enormous amount, but I in particular seem to be having problems. In terms of time, especially. Okay, so I do sort of do homework on and off during the day, but still, it's not that bad and I started at 2:55, finished at about eight oclock. And I had study hall today! This. Is. Madness. In fact, forget that, this is unhealthy and ridiculous. Perhaps it's the fault of the classes. I could go into an easier class...but I don't think my self esteem could forgive me. It sounds silly but I couldn't live with that.
And this is why I'm on the verge of tears, losing my mind, panicking, and half considering giving up entirely. I cannot do this.
Hell, guess what, I was having a panic after I'd finished my HW, and my mum knows of my new obsession and how indulging it would help me feel better, she was like "Okay, we can watch an episode of Peep Show later". And do you know what I said? I said "I don't think I have time, but maybe". Becuse that is the truth. And when I, who can average four or five episodes of this show on a day on a weekend, cannot fit in one episode on a weekday because of homework, then you know something has gone seriously wrong. and it's very sad. I miss my daily Mark Corrigan fix. But more I miss the knowledge that that fix is a given--depdent on nothing.
Right now I'm gonna blog on both(both as in plural, yes--www.mykingdomforonelastdance.blogspot.com) blogs and listen to The National's High Violet with my big headphones. and it will help. I'm not exactly sure what Matt Berninger is singing about a lot of the time, but all I know is he seems pretty down, too, and he is a baritone so it is very comforting.
The ironic thing is, I may hate school when I'm a t home, but I like it when I'm there. Actually, I like it a lot. In some ways the classes are killing whatever self confidence I had before, but today I brought my iPod on the bus, I read my book in the both vile and relaxing experience that is lunch and my lunch table, only got slightly bored in physical science, found geometry moved easily and fast, and Spanish isn't half bad. I like the classes. It's kinda testing my introvetrtedness but it's easy to fight back, and waking up is a pain, but it pays off. I quite like my teachers. And study hall or gym at the end of the day. it's good. The only thing I'm seriously worried for is Wednesday without study hall, when I have piano, and I don't know what I'll do.
I have had no time for piano and I feel very upset, because I was moving so well with it last year. I can only blog some days. I can't spend time finding new bands online. I haven't had the chance to draw all week. I haven't done guitar in forever. Some days I can't even read. In these afternoons, I am a bt miserable.
Oh, I am a whiny teenager, aren't I?
Anyway, it doesn't help to have a crap week because I had such an amazingly relaxing weekend. Saturday I went to the mall with my family and Natalie's friend. It was mostly for the friend but the mall is the only thing of a very commercial nature(except some of the onternet, I suppose) that I can stomach right now and I haven't been in a while and it was really fun. I looked around the clothes shops but didn't buy. On an other note, it's getting weirder and weirder, mainstream fashion, sort of. Also, while I will never forgive FYE for not having Libs or Babyshambles or Peter Doherty(a February '10 obsession, FYI), I do give them credit for Jonsi and Freelance Whales. I've only had the chance for FW so far but what I've heard is profoundly beautiful. Give me twee lyrics any day, I don't care! Wire my heart to your synthesizers please. Your music is so beautiful. Also, I got a smoothie and got out of the house. Oh, and on Monday me and my mom went fruit picking I can't beleieve I don't do it more, it's one of my favorite activites, I guess you could say. it's great being out in the summer sun, picking rasberries, looking under peach trees, and then we got icecream and the farm is so...farmlike and so absolutely folksy and lovely. I'm in love with that place. The sun says it's still summer--so, in my book, it is.
One thing I've mixed feelings on. Could the stores please stop saying it's autumn? Because it. is. not. autumn. yet. I don't like autumn that much. Okay, I suppose there's something stunning and hypnotic about the leaves, halloween, the nice weather, fruit picking again, goingfor walks, all of that. Autumn was amazing for me last year. actually, what am I saying, I love autumn. Love it. But it's not summer. Only I can see something as beautiful as autumn and think "everything is...dying", right? It's just I can seriously barely handle the winter I hate it so much and from January, February, to March, I don't know what I'll do. it's a good thing it's only September.
The only other news is that I've spent the week opposing the common 21st century idea of 'feminism'. I really wanna discuss it so much but I'm done here. I haave organge juice, music, and the internet. In 8th grade I would say time to kill--now I would say time to savor. I hope next time I write here I'm in a better mood.
Until then!
- Naomi
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