relatively quick and messy post

Science quiz to study for (stressed? Why, of course) but I haven't blogged in a while. So this is gonna be a relatively quick and messy post. More messy than my messier-than-messy usual blogging style, anyway.

Weekend was wonderful! Started studying and the like--Saturday was a really, really nice day, went for a walk and some friends came round to watch the new Doctor Who episode. The episode was great, plus my friends are wonderful, and they like to play Qwop and go on Chatroulette and give STDs to my furniture. As for the episode, it was as great as I've come to expect. Thoughts--#1 PIRATES. I love pirates. Pirates are the best. Yes, pirates. #2. I want Amy's pirate coat thing...it's swishy and gray and unisex. I love all things swishy and gray and unisex, don't you know. #3. Lily Cole was every bit as boring as the witch demon thing as I'd expected...go back to just being a model, please. #4 Why does Rory fail so much at...adventures? Like, you'd have thought he'd have picked up some Doctor Who survival tips by now, but noooo, he just goes and gets himself killed by doing stupid stuff every other episode, and then through some inexplicable turn of events, he is revived. Some time soon when Rory dies, I want the Doctor to just be like ...'y'know what? fuck it. I'm done with this. Come on Amy, we're off, I'm done with this idiot'. See, I really do have a very serious case of If It's Doctor Who Without David Tennant and Billie Piper Then I Hate Everyone Involved. Which is...not good, but I can't help it. #5 Moffat is sooo good, we're three episodes in and I'm loving these plot lines more than I did in the last series. #6 I thought the whole concept of the Black Spot was really good...reminds me of something, though. it's probably super obvious but I can't remember. #7. The Tardis acting of its own accord...like woah, weird. #8. Totally didn't know what was going on towards the end with the hospital thing. #9. No River Song in this episode? Shame, I would've wanted her to be more of a regular this series round. #10. AMY, ARE YOU PREGNANT ARE NOT? LIKE, WHAT IS GOING ON?

Sunday I went to a Steampunk Festival with my family. Great fun, loads of hipsters in ripped tights and combat boots and the like. Got an overpriced but lovely nonetheless doll necklace. Because everyone needs a creepy doll necklace, no?

Health--Talking about AIDs again and again and again, over and over and over again. Got started on my Bipolar project, which is proving to be interesting enough so far...it's a shame the Secret Life of the Manic Depressive documentary isn't online in full. I hear it's a really good documentary, very informative and the like, plus it's got Stephen Fry in it! For one thing, Stephen Fry is delightful in just about any situation, but because he really doesn't talk about his Bipolar, it'd be very insightful indeed. Damn copyright laws, right? And apparently Jo Brand and Carrie Fisher, whom I both really like, are featured in the documentary too. It won awards! Damn you Youtube! Anyway in health today some cops came in with drug dogs(two Germany shepherds! I love German Shepherds.) talked about the usual drugs are bad etc. etc. etc. and then watched the dog go for one of the guy's arms. Fun. But cold first thing in the morning.

Art--I did nothing all week. Nothing whatsoever. I couldn't think of anything for the new project so I twiddled my thumbs and read and listened to the endless stream of stupid conversations that people at my table like to have. I have to come up with a theme tonight--four things that go together in a theme. Book covers? Album covers? Jesus, I don't know. I don't want to do this class right now. I get headaches and put everything off to the last minute and I just want to do homework instead of doing art.

Science--Taxonomy, going through all the phylums, looking at specimens of each(Worms! So many worms! I can handle just about any organism on the planet...apart from worms. That wasn't a good moment). We had a sub a few days ago so we just did a handout the entire time...and better yet, last week we had a firedrill right as the teacher was about to start talking! Fantastic! Everyone had resorted to despising this class. The hate that flows from my peers(and to some extent, me) is unprecedented in my school career so far. Like, when we had the sub, someone said "I die everytime I'm walking in the hallway to get to this class. And now...it feels like I've been reborn". And people sort of waved their hands and lost their minds like they'd just won an an award or something. Very confusing! But funny too. No one can even be bothered to hide their hate anymore. The teacher walks around and we openly discuss to our neighbors how we hate this class. I hate this class, I hate this class, and I fall asleep every day. Really. Plus, I have to worry about like I don't know, actually legitimately not failing quizzes. Most of the time in most science classes, if you at least shop up to class and stay awake, you're guaranteed to get at least a D-. Not in this class. Anything more than a 75 then you're labelled a genius. Rightfully so, to be honest. I typed up a sort of study guide for this quiz. Nine pages. Nine. And this was the most condensed version I could come up with. Nine pages, I know nothing, I understand nothing, I have no time for studying tomorrow or Wednesday, and if I don't convince my mother that I should get a day off school to study under the guise of 'I WILL HAVE A PSYCHOTIC MELTDOWN IF I GO TO SCHOOL TODAY'(I say guise when really...this isn't too hyperbolic), then I will...I...I don't even know. This is insane, guys. Absolutely fucking crazy. Lord help me, I'm losing my mind thanks to a science teacher.

Renaissance in World Civ! Finally! Blaise Pascal and Martin Luther and Da Vinci and yesyesyesyes so much fun! We got to watch a documentary about Martin Luther friday and today. He's genuinely one of my favorite historical figures of all time, so I really enjoyed how much we talked about that. We took a few notes and such. I barely consider World Civ a 'proper' class, it's such a breeze. Though--sigh--we'll probably get yet another project again soon...ugh, so many projects.

English! Tale of Two Cities! Vocab, analysis, looking for details that I'm pretty sure don't exist. Usually, I actually prefer reading books in class than reading them outside, for some reason. But this...this is just killing this book for me. I know, I just know, that if I was reading this outside of school, I would really like it. But in school there's so much pressure, not to mention so much homework and debating and things. My teacher takes being pretentious about books to a whole other extreme, trust me. Her and her unecesserily extensive dictionaries and Catcher In The Rye poster and fucking Wordsworth paperweights. Admittedly my comprehension of books is really shabby but this is just testing this too much. Oh and did I mention she never stops talking about the SATs. I just want to scream "I'm 15! We're freshman! Stop with this! We don't care! We shouldn't be expected to care! Stop!" Sighsighsigh. And I still have Tale of Two Cities questions tonight, no big deal. I'm gonna totally get the answers waaaay off from whatever Mr. Dickens intended(sorry Charles.) and we're probably gonna do a fishbowl tomorrow and she's gonna be like 'Why didn't you speak, Naomi?" and I'll be thinking "really, is the point of human communication to just ramble off about whatever nonsense pops into your mind? NO. NONONO. Because if you want me to just talk about the first thing that pops into my head then, yeah, I can do that, but as for it contributing to any sort of 'debate' about Syndey Carton or whatever, I can't guarantee that's gonna happen. So shall I just stay silent?". But really I'll just say 'I...don't know. I didn't have anything to say". And I don't know why I do well on essays or why I got 100% on my portfolio or why grammar comes naturally to me, sorta; BUT, I do know that I am going to analyze this book to death.

And then my angst makes me, like explode. Really. I heard someone say today "Science last block is so boring that it fells like I'm going to...explode" and I was thinking 'yes, I'm using that'. so that's what happens, everyone--I will explode.

Oh yeah, seeing Manchester Orchestra w/ Cage the Elephant tomorrow. Excited? YES. New MO stuff is so good, and I've decided Mean Everything to Nothing is one of my favorite albums. I'm not so familiar with CtE but I really like the new album and the one from a couple years ago(debut? not sure.) is okay too. Why CtE are opening for manchester Orchestra, and not the other way round, I will never quite understand. Sometimes at this venue the openers do signings after. Metting Cage the Elephant? I would die of happiness. Can you comprehend how adorasble Matt Shultz is? pfft, I doubt it. I'm so excited.

Also, I might be seeing Richard III in London over the summer with my mom and aunt. I don't really see plays very often...apparently both my parents 'had seen some Shakespeare when they were my age' so...I wanna go. But I wanna read Hamlet, really, and Macbeth, more than Richard III. Suppose I should read it first. Oh I'm so excited that I just might be becoming my English teacher.

I have plant anatomy to try and fail to understand. Good night everyone.

I Never Want to Know of Stars Again

It's true.

I came home from school at like 2:25, 2:30 yesterday, and worked--without Facebook or TV etc.--until 11:15. Oh. My God. AND, I found out a few days ago it's double spaced not single spaced and I was like, oh yeah, thanks Mrs. Teacher, how about putting that on thee rubric next time? And I worked the entire week anyway, completely neglecting everything else, subsequently lowering my science grade a few other percents to the point where I'm .1% away from a B+, not my beloved A- which I've worked so hard for this year. It was one lab, maybe two labs okay, that I completely fucked up on because I'm basically asleep when I'm doing them. And oh yeah I'm sorry my writing isn't legible. I'd rather it be weird looking and slightly eccentric than use that enormous bubbly girly handwriting every female person in the developed world has seem to have adopted for no reason I can find. You could be the smartest person in the school; if you write like that, you look ditsy.

I have a test on Tuesday and I don't understand anything and I really need it to be at least an A- and I've got two graded labs to do, and I'll probably end up, like, wearing sterile gloves and doing ten drafts on one-word sentences, because if I lose even the slightest fraction of a point, I am fucked for good. PHYSICAL SCIENCE, PLEASE END. YOU ARE KILLING ME. IT IS A FRIDAY EVENING AND I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOUR GRADE IS ALL I SEEM TO THINK ABOUT.

Bam, there went my so-called sense of calmness for, like, forever.

Speaking of that, here's an interesting thought, why am I apparently prone to being stereotyped and generalized? And I mean, more than most people it seems, but of course that's a hugely self absorbed thing to suggest, but for today, I will anyway. This week, in particular, this has happened frequently. First in Geometry I'm at my table and I'm not talking, because I don't want to. And really, there's no sizeable reason for any of this. They're talking about something I don't want to talk about or have anything to say about. is that such a crime? Well apparently in this world, yes it is, but actually no it isn't but that's sort of an angry mini-rant in its own right. And then out of the blue someone at my table starts talking about me being quiet. It's partly an English thing. She knows I'm British, she thinks I'm gonna be like Matt Bellamy's personality clone. Oh, how I wish I was. Trust me, I'm not that interesting or whatever, but even if I was, leave me to be quiet. And then my Geometry teacher starts talking about how she wrote in my progress report I'm too quiet. I may be the quietest, but I've also got a 97% in that class(in case you haven't noticed, my brain is 95% numbers right now) so apparently it isn't killing me. People in study and gym call me 'cute' and the way you might call a baby cute and I'm like, why? You don't know me that well. I don't understand it. Someone told a sub-par 'perverted' joke the other day and I think I smiled. They were no Frankie Boyle, but I smiled. And then someone's like "oh, look at Naomi. She's like 'I shouldn't be laughing at this but i am anyway'".

Excuse me, but when did I ever say that or suggest anything to that extent? By not talking? By being quiet? Somehow, that and my sense of humour don't really add up. Do you assume that by my thinking that a lot of jokes I hear are sexist or xenophobic or distasteful or racist or offensive to someone, somewhere? By the way, I do have a sense of humour--and it is frequently quite dark. you don't know that, you don't know what I think. And let me tell you, dark is not necessarily the same as disgusting. It's everyone else who doesn't know that. People in gym are annoying. I'm always the last left in the game because no one wants to get the kid who isn't a threat out, right? So then I keep running the length of the gym in whatever stupid game we were playing, and these girls are like 'look at her, she's so cute'. In Spanish today, which mind you was a total waste of time minus the sweet tea(since when did I like sweet tea?) we spent nearly an hour assigning traits to people. We're comparing people and using the superlative but the whole thing falls flat to gossip after a few minutes. for example, when people aren't there, we don't get 'he is the funniest in the class' and 'she is the prettiest in the class'. No, we are as inhibited as to say 'he's the most childish in the class' and 'she's the most freakishly skinny in the class'. And the teacher doesn't do a damn thing, you just stand there being examined head to toe and in your brain, not that they know what goes on in there. I eventually got 'she has the best accent in the class'. I'm trying to work out whether that's better than Naomi You're So Quiet, but this really is another matter, so I'm stopping that.

This whole thing does lower you as a person as a tiny bit. I guess it happens to everyone, but if you're ever so slightly off to one side of the imaginary bell curve of normality, people think they know the inner workings of your brain. Or is it me? if so, why? Is it a physical thing? My being awkward? My not wanting to run? Just being...not as talkative as is maybe within social convention? It happens and I hate it. But tell me the answer, because I really, really want to know.

I never thought in a free country one would have to make a sort of liberal bullshit-ridden 'stand' about how much they speak, but if I have to, I will; Introverted And Proud. Hardly a complicated thing to discuss, anything but, yet apparently we have to. Separate your minds and your mouths and let others do the same. and don't boast about how not to judge people while simultaneously judging the quiet kid. that's just nonsense.

This wasn't supposed to be a rant post, I haven't gotten a chance to write all week. I'm exhausted, by my standards, and am going through a Friday Night rampage of fashion blogs, David Mitchell clips on YouTube, Sweeney Todd, men's clothes in Sweeney Todd(honestly my favorite period male fashion wise, not that I know a single thing of it. Ditch the too-skinny or too-baggy jeans and baseball caps, boys.), and House of leaves by Mark Danielewski. I haven't read in forever too and it's a breath of fresh air. Marry me, Mr. Danielewski. You and your perfect illustrations of teenage angst and your random half empty pages and your fetish of all things whimsical. Love it.

I think I'm writing like his main character anyway. I'm no grail of coolness in terms of how my blog is, but I'm writing ever so slightly weirder than normal.

also, apparently, I'm so 'normal'. You know, I'm not your fucking parameter for how weird you are. You and your uggs and yoga pants and American Eagle sweaters and your paramore songs on your ipod and your so-called hilarity and your hoards of friends and your normality. yes, it is certainly logical for you to be the weird one in this situation. because you talk more. which is normal. MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, YOU KNOW?

I tend not to have a problem with most of the above list, other than it's sorta boring, but don't claim to be God Of Diversity because of it, kay?

I think my mom thinks I'm going to have an aneurysm because of my homework, or something, so she wants to go out of her way to make this weekend relaxing. I made cookies after school and I'm gonna look for more Christmas sheet music tomorrow. I'm seeing Weezer on Tuesday. Christmas in 15 days. Hey remember when I hated winter and didn't want it to snow yet? Haha, yeah...*blushes* I'd die without my white Christmas, and it had better hurry up, like, now.

Since this is a hate post, let me add something; thing I hate #286. Fake Christmas Trees. Oh my God we don't live in Mexico, it's fairly simple to go out and buy a tree. And yes it'll go off. That's why you're not supposed to put it up the day after Thanksgiving. These are the same people who meticulously clean leaves off their lawns the first day of october. you people depress me. live a little. ironically listen to Mud and sing even though you can't. contradict yourself fairly regularly.

what am I talking about?

I'm not even trying to be all allovertheplace indie. I'm not. That is why these posts are so long.

At risk of turning away anyone else at the endless list of slightly irritating things I've written about, I'm going to leave and watch Buzzcocks. Good day.